


Proficiency in Babysitting

by mcschnuggles



Series: The Regression Zone [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Canon Compliant, Caregiver!Merle, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, Regressing!Taako, caregiver!magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-12-01 20:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20885513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcschnuggles/pseuds/mcschnuggles
Summary: Taako accidentally drinks from a cursed cup. Meanwhile, his friends have to juggle looking for the cursed artifact and caring for a regressed Taako.Set after Murder at the Rockport Limited.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set early in the series because I'm not very far in. I just really love Taako.

Taako could use a drink.

Frankly, Taako could always use a drink, but especially now that he’s saved a town and is shoulder to shoulder with every drunk, celebrating townsperson that could fit into the Whispering Willows Bar.

It’s not that he has anything against them. They’re perfectly fine people. He just liked them a whole lot better when they were revering him as a hero and buying him drinks. None of which he’s received. And this is not a scene he can handle sober.

He waves over Dana the Bartender, an orc with a sweet smile and proficiency in mixing drinks.

“Excuse me.” Taako says. “Don’t know if you noticed, big hero here. Saved the town from the bugbear with allergies?” He splays out his hands to further emphasize how empty they are. “At least ten people have bought me a drink and I have yet to see a single one.”

Okay, maybe not ten. More like two. But the bar is crowded enough that he’s sure some free drinks can be lost in the shuffle, especially for someone who just saved the town.

She offers him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I think all our drinkware is in use at the moment. You’ll be the first to know, Mr. Hero.” There’s a sweetness in her voice that, if Taako didn’t know any better, could’ve been misconstrued as mockery. But no, Dana the Bartender is just that nice.

“What about that one?” Taako points at the vaguely cup-shaped object nestled in a shelf corner behind her.

Dana the Bartender blinks, as if seeing the object for the first time. “…oh. We do have that, don’t we?”

Taako waves off her concerns. “Just wash the dust off of it. It should be fine.” He’d drink out of a shoe about now, but she doesn’t need to know that. Let him keep his air of dignity and cool boredom.

Her movements are almost robotic as she takes the cup in her hands, and when she holds it, its glow reflects almost eerily back in her own eyes. Taako, who is impatiently surveying Magnus attempt to do a ye olde keg stand, notices none of this.

It’s not until the cup is plunked down in front of him that he remembers it even exists.

In the dim lighting of the bar, it looks even worse. No wonder she tries to keep it out of sight. It’s a brass goblet, with a large skull carved into the front. He suspects it’s supposed to be polished, but the poor thing looks like it hasn’t seen a good polish in the last decade. The surface dully reflects Taako’s face. Maybe it’s to cover up fingerprint smudges. Or maybe it’s because no one will notice with that creepy skull glaring at them.

Its eye sockets are dotted with two rose-colored jewels, with a light that seems to focus on Taako alone.

He grimaces. “A little tacky, isn’t it?”

Dana the Bartender flushes. “I’m sorry. I’m sure I can find another one.” She reaches for it, but Taako stops her.

For a moment, all words are cut off by the jolt of electricity that runs from his fingertips all the way to the crown of his head. Discounting that unfortunate incident with a fantasy electrical socket, the last time he had felt a power so strong was that ugly gauntlet.

“No, no. As long as it’s filled with alcohol in the next minute, I’m not going to be picky. Besides, you seem to have that cursed goblet aesthetic going and I’m not going to mess with it.” It must be all the people. He’s getting antsy. And if he doesn’t get something to drink in the next few minutes, he probably won’t escape the night with his sanity.

“What can I get you?”

“Margarita.” Taako answers. He slides the goblet back in her direction, ignoring the way his fingers tingle. “And don’t skimp on the salt.”

Taako’s gaze strays back to his friends. Magnus has taken to telling an extremely exaggerated version of their bugbear mission, one which notably omits when Merle attempted to heal the bugbear’s allergies, as well as the part where the bugbear mistook them all for her young.

He’s sure that if he listens in any longer, he’ll get to hear a modified ending as well, one where there was an actual fight instead of Taako charming her into traveling north to pick up her prescription at Fantasy Pharmacy.

Merle is nowhere to be seen. He must have retired to bed early. He never did care for larger crowds, especially for such long periods of time. With a roll of his eyes, he takes a sip of his drink.

Taako fights back the urge to gag. “When was the last time you washed this thing? It’s got an aftertaste that tastes like woodchips.”

“I’ll wash it thoroughly and get you another one.” Dana offers with an ever-patient smile. Taako is beginning to think it comes with the territory of dealing primarily with drunk patrons. She goes to take but the goblet.

“Wait!” he cries. He snatches the goblet out of her hands and downs the margarita in one impressive gulp. “No need to waste a perfectly good marg.”

Woodchips or no, it’s going to be a while before he gets another drink, so he might as well savor the taste while he can.

“Sorry about that. It’s no way to treat our heroes, I don’t think.” She turns back to offer him an apologetic smile, but shock twists her features. “Sir?”

Words linger on the tip of his tongue, simple words like “what?” or “yes?” but they bunch up in his throat. Suddenly words are too hard to form, so instead he stares at her, eyes wide as dinner plates as he allows himself to get swept up into her fear.

Why does she look so scared anyway? What could have possibly gone so wrong with his face in the last few seconds that she looks _that _concerned?

“I…I…” He struggles to speak. His mind feels so foggy. The margarita couldn’t have been that strong, could it? When had he last eaten? It hadn’t been too long ago. Not so long that he’d get this tipsy over one drink.

He frantically looks at the patrons around him, seeing if anyone looks strong enough to cast a tongue-tying spell. Only once he starts swinging his head around does he realize how terribly off-kilter he feels. He lurches, only to be caught by someone behind him and pushed back upright. The word “lightweight,” teasingly thrown his direction, is the last thing he’s able to distinctly hear.

Has the room gotten quieter or is it just him? If he strains, he can hear a voice or two, but otherwise the silence is stark and unkind. Is everyone staring? Have they gone silent out of concern for him? Are they really that concerned? Somehow he doubts it, doubts that anyone aside from the bartender has even noticed. The room tilts again, so Taako doesn’t have time to consider.

He forces himself to be calm, take a breath, and not be sick all over himself, which is becoming more and more of a possibility as the seconds tick by. He rules out any spells. After all, he has high magic resistance. No one could cast something on him without him knowing.

Dana the Bartender is speaking, but Taako can’t make out a single word she’s saying. Her brow is furrowed, but she no longer looks outright horrified. She snaps her fingers in front of his face, which happens in a weird sense of slow motion that makes him flinch backwards.

Her face softens, and he feels all sorts of pitiful. Maybe he just needs to call it quits for tonight, go to bed, and hope things will be fixed in the morning.

He wonders if he asks, will anyone carry him to bed? He doesn’t feel like walking anymore…

The thought makes him reel. No. No, no, no. He is most certainly _not_ going to regress in a packed bar of people that previously respected him. This is not going to happen.

But it’s so much worse than that, he soon realizes. His surroundings grow, climbing to the ceiling. Had Dana the Bartender slipped a shrinking potion into his drink? No, potions of any brew taste terrible mixed with alcohol. But not in a woodchips kind of way. More of a mucus-y kind of way. Totally different, but equally undesirable.

He braces his hand against the bar—or at least he tries to. He reaches for where he thinks the bar is, but catches only empty air. The edge of the bar ends up being much lower than where he sees it is. Meaning that whatever he just drank is only messing with his perception, making things seem bigger than they actually are.

Unfortunately, that is _not_ doing any favors for his headspace. If anything, it only serves to make him feel even tinier.

Weakness rolls through him. Suddenly his limbs feel like anchors, dragging him further and further down. He can barely keep his head upright.

In one final desperate attempt to get ahold of himself, he tries to speak, but the most he can manage with his slackened jaw is a groan with a slight “m” sound to it. Whether he was trying to say Merle or Magnus, he wasn’t sure, but anyone familiar would’ve been better than a group of loud, intoxicated strangers.

He catches one final glimpse at the cup, which Dana the Bartender has moved to the shelf behind her. She’s leaned over the bar, and the fear is starting to come back to her face. Taako tries not to look in her eyes, knowing he’ll start crying if he does. Instead he looks at the cup. It’s gone shimmery around the edges. Not like the rest of the world, which is blurry but not shimmery, like something else entirely.

It fades, getting harder and harder to see before disappearing entirely, as if it were never there in the first place.

Finally he recognizes the aftertaste.

Dark magic.

“Shit,” is all he’s able to say before he blacks out entirely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one is kind of a filler chapter

Taako sleeps for hours.

It wasn’t long after he blacked out that Dana the Bartender alerted Magnus, who brought Taako straight up to their room (which was free, after saving the town).

Magnus and Merle sit at the table across the room, relaying the situation in hushed voices. Magnus can’t help glancing at Taako near constantly. Has he always been so pale?

His white-blond hair is spread around him like a fan, mussed from all the tossing and turning he’s been doing.

He doesn’t sit still for more than a few minutes at a time, turning this way and that, his brow furrowed in a permanent pained look. The occasional whimper passes through his lips, usually accompanied by a renewed bout of thrashing.

“I thought for someone who fawns over liquor so much, he’d be better at holding it.” Merle comments. He’s thumbing through his spellbook, looking for every healing spell in his arsenal.

Since Taako loves to find excuses not to do things, particularly things that will endanger his life, Merle intends to give him no excuses, whether that excuse be a hangover, an injury, or the fact that Taako might very well still be drunk.

“He’s waking up!” Magnus says. He excitedly nudges Merle’s shoulder, but with his strength, he nearly shoves Merle out of his chair.

Taako kicks his legs, his face screwed in discomfort before he finally opens his eyes. He blinks once, twice. From the glassy look of his eyes, he still has no idea where he is.

The blanket falls from his chest as he sits up and takes in the room, as if he’s seeing it for the first time.

“We were worried you were never going to wake up!” Merle teases. He plops on Taako’s right side, his thick spellbook in his hands.

“The bartender said you had quite a spill!” Magnus says, sitting on the opposite side of his bed. “I had to carry you back here myself.” He pauses in thought. “You’re a lot lighter than I thought you’d be.”

“I have a number of healing spells slotted.” Merle continues. “Hopefully one of them will work. Then we can get back on the road.” He glances up, finally registering that Taako has made no smarmy remark in the entire minute he’s been awake. He frowns. “Taako?”

He watches the two of them warily, his body tense like a tightly coiled spring. His hands are fisted in the covers, turning his knuckles white. Small tremors trail up the length of his arms.

There is no recognition in Taako’s eyes.

Worse yet, _Taako’s eyes_. They’re covered in a purple film, a fog in his irises that swirls and shifts whenever he moves his eyes. It’s subtle enough not to be noticeable from a distance, but up close, it’s impossible not to see.

“Good morning?” Merle tries.

Taako responds by bolting for the door.

Magnus tries to catch him, but he’s able to duck out of Magnus’s reach and take off down the hallway.

“Stop!” Magnus calls, his voice barely above a harsh whisper. At this hour, most everyone is asleep, and the last thing he wants to do is upset an inn full of drunks, especially when their person charmer is incapacitated.

Taako skids to a stop before he can reach the stairs, his eyes locked on the window. “Dark,” he whimpers, slowly backing away. “Dark.”

“Oh no you don’t!” Magnus sweeps Taako up over one shoulder with relative ease, causing him to shriek and promptly burst into tears.

Taako’s fists beat against his back, trying desperately to get free. He’s not nearly as strong as he thinks he is. Magnus doubts he could deal a point of physical damage even if he tried.

The door behind him swings open. Magnus turns to find a very angry elf glaring at him, right as Taako’s knee hits him squarely in the chest. “Are you serious?”

“He’s drunk?” Magnus tries to keep his voice down, which makes it sound more like hoarse cough. He can’t help but notice Taako has gone very still against him.

“So’s everyone else!” the elf snaps. “Keep it down.” And with that, he slams the door.

“Dick.” Magnus mutters under his breath. He readjusts Taako, who’s half-hanging off his shoulder from struggling so much, and keeps a firm hand on his back. The other hand is around the back of his knees. The last thing Magnus wants is the wind knocked out of him again.

As they make it back to their room, Taako is still crying, albeit much more quietly now. It hurts Magnus’s heart to hear. He doesn’t even struggle as he’s placed back on the bed.

“Do you think it’s the cursed artifact Lucretia mentioned?” Magnus wonders. This doesn’t feel like Taako. Not at all.

It’s like Taako really wants to hammer in just how much of a jerk Magnus is being, because he curls back up under the covers despite his obvious trembling, as if he doesn’t see the worth in trying another escape attempt no matter how afraid he is.

“You think it could be making him hallucinate?” Merle asks, absently touching the back of his hand to Taako’s forehead. Taako isn’t running a fever, but he looks bound to burst into another round of frightened tears if they so much as breathe in his direction.

“Well, he certainly doesn’t recognize us.” Magnus replies. He understands that he can be rather scary on his own, but he doubts anyone would find Merle frightening if they hadn’t seen him cast a spell.

They don’t know much about the artifact they’re after, other than it’s a cup. A cup that feeds on fear. And Taako does seem pretty afraid. For now, it’s their best bet.

“But where would he have run into it?” Merle asks. “Isn’t it supposed to be in a dungeon or something? Why would it be in a crappy bar?”

“Do you have a better explanation for why he’s acting like this?”

Sniffing miserably, Taako slips his thumb into his mouth in a pitiful attempt at self-soothing.

Merle stares. “Okay, you might have a point.”

“What do we do?”

“Maybe we could try triggering his memory?” Merle suggests. “I’ll go first.”

Magnus pouts. “Why do you get to go first?”

“Because I didn’t make him cry.” Merle inches closer, and the small movement is enough for him to immediately have Taako’s full attention.

He smiles, trying to make himself as small and non-threatening as possible. “Hi there.” He uses the voice Magnus has only ever heard him use on children.

Taako’s eyes flit to Magnus, just to keep tabs on him, but snap back to Merle just as quickly. He doesn’t remove his thumb from his mouth.

“Maybe you don’t remember me, but I’m sure you remember…” Merle pauses for dramatic effect. “Your good old buddy Pan!”

He whips out his Pan-phlet, which makes Taako flinch back, but he continues undeterred.

“You remember the good word, don’t you?”

Taako stares blankly at him, which is admittedly a step up from the unadulterated terror they were at a few moments ago.

Merle tries again. “Your good buddy? Pan? Remember?” He shakes the pamphlet, as if doing so will shake out Taako’s memories, but it does nothing.

“Wonderful work.” Magnus says dryly.

“It must be a powerful spell on him. Maybe there’s some sort of healing magic for this.” Merle says, mostly to himself. He slides off the bed to retrieve his book, which Taako knocked to the floor during his escape attempt.

“Taako…” Magnus trails off, unsure of how to continue. “Do you really not remember us?”

Taako tilts his head, as if he’s understanding only some of what’s being said to him. His brow furrows in a way that Magnus can only describe as “cute.” Like a puppy.

He takes Taako’s hand, which of course makes him flinch back, and holds it to his face. Maybe that will stir something. Taako was always so fond of touching him—casually patting his shoulder, his face, his hands at every opportunity. It’s so strange to see a Taako so folded in on himself. He doesn’t like it.

“Remember the time we stole shoes off a dead guy because they were cool? Or when you first got your umbrella? What about my ducks?” He pulls a carved duck out of his pocket. He probably still has about half a dozen. The townspeople couldn’t get enough of his duck carving proficiency. “What about every time I didn’t get to finish one of my stories? You’d pat me on the face, like this, and tell me ‘next time’ and call me a really cute nickname. You remember?”

Taako’s eyes move from Magnus to the duck in his hands. He blinks, and then something strange happens.

The purple fog in his eyes clears, if only for a moment. And when he blinks, the color is noticeably duller.

Taako leans forward, his shoulders slumped. Magnus hadn’t noticed how tense he was until he finally relaxed.

“Magnus?”

The word came out slightly slurred, sounding more like “Mack-nuth” than “Magnus.”

Thinking he hasn’t been heard, Taako repeats himself.

“Magnus?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still not used to doing multi-chaps. I hope the pacing has been okay so far!

Merle whoops triumphantly. “I _knew_ a focus spell would work!”

Merle. Magnus. His friends. His _family_, almost. Taako immediately feels his heartrate decrease a tick, just at seeing from familiar faces.

From the time he woke up, all he’s been seeing are monsters. And not bugbears or gerblins. Something so much worse. Monsters with a million eyes and sharp teeth, perfectly crafted for gobbling up little boys like him.

They crawl out of the darkness—they like hiding in the dark especially—and they’re there just around every corner. In retrospect, he thinks that whatever the cup did to him is changing more than just how tall things look.

If anything, this has all only worked to firmly plant him in his tiny headspace. Feeling too little and really scared and very lost was the perfect swell of _emotions_ that made him certain the last thing he wanted to do was face this all as a big kid.

When he woke up, he found himself being stared down, chased around, and manhandled by two monsters, one nearly twice his size. He was about to start flinging out spells when the haze finally cleared.

He doesn’t know if it’s a relief or an all new kind of fear he feels when he realizes it’s Magnus and Merle. For now, he feels safe. He always feels safe with his friends. But he’s sure that grown-up Taako will think differently. Once the fuzziness and the placid haze of headspace go away, all he’ll be left with is the embarrassment of absolutely losing his shit in front of his only friends.

Magnus sighs, unabashedly pouting. “And here I thought we had a moment.”

Taako decides not to tell Magnus that all he’d been seeing was a hulking behemoth of a monster with six-inch claws and gnarled horns forcing him to touch its leathery face, because that won’t do Magnus’s depleting self-esteem much good.

“So how are you feeling now?” Merle asks. He offers a half-awkward smile, as if he expects Taako to start screaming his head off again.

“’m small.” He tells Merle. He means it both physically and mentally. While Merle’s focus spell managed to stop making everyone look like monsters, he’s still seeing things as too big. Even Merle looks like he could come up to Taako’s shoulders.

“Small?” Merle echoes.

“Young.” He doesn’t know why he has to clarify. He thought it would be obvious, with the way he’s sucking his thumb and all. It’s embarrassing to do with Magnus and Merle staring him down like this, but no matter how strong his shame pulses, he can’t bear to deprive himself of this one comfort.

“How young?”

Taako errs on the side of caution. “Eight,” he decides. Maybe if they think he’s bigger, all the other monsters will be more intimidated.

Magnus peers at him strangely. “Is that, like, in elf years? Because I know they can be longer…”

Merle fixes him with a look. “Magnus, he’s sucking his thumb. I hardly think it makes a difference.” He half-talks behind his hand, as if he didn’t want Taako to hear, or as if Taako was too small to understand.

“I’m right here.” Taako pouts. “I can hear you.”

“Right.” Merle nods. “So can you tell us what happened?”

“Do you _remember_ what happened?” Magnus asks. “At the bar?”

Of course he remembered what happened. Hell, he could probably draw the damned goblet, down to the very last gaudy stroke. “Evil cup.” Taako replies.

“An evil cup?”

Taako nods. “Dark magic, I think. Makes me see things weird.”

“What kind of weird?” Merle asks.

Taako remotely wishes they wouldn’t gang up on interrogating him. Looking back and forth between Magnus, Merle, and his lap makes him feel like he’s watching the world’s most awkward tennis match. “Everything’s bigger, and scarier. It makes everyone look like monsters.”

“That explains the running and crying.” Merle mutters, stroking his beard.

Taako pouts but says nothing. At least he’s talking to himself and not to Magnus this time.

Magnus rears back, concern lacing his expression. He self-consciously glances down at himself, as if reevaluating every minutia of how he holds himself. “Do we still look like monsters?”

Taako shakes his head. “Just tall.”

Merle leans in, his attention effectively captured. “How tall do I look?”

Taako reaches out, leveling his hand where he thinks the top of Merle’s head should be. Logically, he knows he’s off by a long shot—at least a foot, maybe more—but his brain can’t make the connection. His fingers keep expecting to touch Merle’s fluffy hair, and the absence of such is feeling makes the familiar jolt of fear come flooding back into his chest.

Merle touches a hand to his heart. “Taako, that is literally the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Taako giggles around his thumb.

“So eight years old, huh?” Magnus says, rubbing his chin quizzically.

Taako’s face falls. “Mhm.”

“Is that because of the cup?”

“Nope.” Taako lowers his eyes and picks at the comforter. “Just happens sometimes.” He tries to tamp down the blush creeping into his cheeks. He can only imagine how terrible he’ll feel when he can finally get back into his grown-up headspace. “When I’m scared or sad or too tired.”

Magnus furrows his brow. He’s obviously not getting it yet. “And how do you…you know…come out of it?”

Taako shrugs. “Just do.” He’s not the kind of person who can just pop out of headspace when he needs to—well, at least not often. At the very least, he can keep himself from sucking his thumb in public. He’s kind of immature anyway; he can get away with acting a little younger without anyone noticing. But coming out of his headspace, especially right now? Yeah, not happening.

“But you can’t right now.” Merle guesses.

Taako shakes his head. His free hand wraps around a strand of his hair, which he twists nervously between his fingers. “Too scary.” He doesn’t like the way Merle is looking at him, like he’s a puzzle for Merle to solve.

“Don’t worry, Taako.” Magnus claps him on the shoulder, which causes him to jolt forward. “I happen to have a proficiency in babysitting! You’re safe with me!”

Merle, like Taako, ignores him. “Do you know where the cup went?” he asks Taako.

“Mm-mm. Just disappeared.” Taako stops twisting his hair to instead rub his eyes. Exhaustion is starting to settle back in, so even the threat of monsters can’t keep him awake. His escape attempt wore him out more than he first thought.

“So we find the cup, destroy it, save Taako, and finally take a vacation. Easy!” Magnus straightens up, like he’s about to go running into the night and get the cup right now.

Taako yawns widely. “Bedtime first.” He tugs the blankets up under his chin and shuffles down into the pillows, making his tiredness known by whimpering as he gets settled. The blankets are warmer and softer than any inn lodging has any right to be.

“Tired, kiddo?” Merle smiles softly, taking the extra moment to tuck the covers more securely around Taako’s shoulders. When Taako and Magnus shoot him twin looks of confusion, he merely shrugs. “You’re not the first age regressor I’ve met.”

So that was why he’d been staring at Taako like he’d been trying to figure him out. Because thata was exactly what he’d been doing.

Still, Taako doesn’t have much of a will to care. His eyes are already slipping shut. He could fall asleep easy with Merle’s hand on his back. The warmth is comforting.

“I’ll get the lights.” Magnus whispers, which ends up being just about as loud as his normal speaking voice.

“_NO!_” Taako swings upright, the action so sudden and violent that it stops Magnus cold. He reaches out, trying not to look at the tremors going up and down his arm. “No dark.”

Magnus slowly backs away from the light switch. “You don’t like the dark?”

“Scary.” He deliberately tucks his hand in by his chest. He sinks his teeth into the skin of his thumb, applying light pressure in an attempt to ground himself. The world is starting to blur around the fringes, as if a little more stress will bring back all the hallucinations. “It’s where the monsters come from.”

“Er, it’s fine.” Merle says. His face is twisted in sympathy. “We can just sleep with the lights on.” He pats Taako’s shoulder again, but the action only makes Taako shiver.

“It’s okay, Taako.” Magnus beams. He plops back on Taako’s bedside, beaming like he can smile away all of Taako’s fears. “I have a proficiency in monster fighting!” As if to really drive the point home, he flexes one arm.

Despite himself, Taako giggles. Magnus makes it easy to laugh. He always has. But his goofy humor has always appealed to Taako most when he’s regressed. “No, you don’t.”

“I don’t blame you for doubting me.” Magnus leans back against the bedpost, hands behind his head. “Most monsters are so scared of me they don’t even come near.”

Still giggling, Taako settles against Magnus’s chest. He likes touch. It serves as a confirmation that things are how he sees them. “Not true.”

“Completely true.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Fibs.”

“Truths!”

“If you two are planning on doing this all night, I think I’d rather sleep outside.” Merle pulls the covers back over Taako’s shoulders, then settles in on his other side.

“’s Maggie’s fault.” Taako says.

Magnus gasps in false outrage. “_My_ fault?” His voice stays soft, though. He gently bops Taako’s nose.

“Yup.” He’s grinning even as his eyes close.

“Honestly, Magnus, what am I going to do with you?” Merle teases. His voice has dropped to a low murmur, just loud enough for Taako to hear without straining his ears.

“Hopefully point me in the direction of some monsters I can fight.”

“Hush, you. He’s asleep.”

“Let’s hope that focus spell is permanent.” A hand strokes his cheek, and that’s when Taako truly passes out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been giving me soooo much trouble! I've written and rewritten I don't know how many times! I hope it's okay and I'm really sorry if it's not up to par for me :(

Taako wakes up significantly bigger, but still not big at all.

It’s hard to feel anything but small with a gentle heartbeat thumping in your ear, an arm wrapped around your shoulders, and someone’s hand comfortably fitted into yours.

He’s flanked on both sides by Magnus and Merle, Merle, who’s still fast asleep, and Magnus, who smiles gently at him when they meet eyes.

If he was feeling at all big before, he certainly isn’t now.

He feels his face go red. “Hi, Maggie.”

“Good morning, Taako.” More shocking than anything, Magnus has finally developed an inside voice. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” He shifts, sinking deeper into the warmth of Magnus’s chest. “Warm. Sleepy. Small.” He could probably fall back asleep right now. Magnus is much cuddlier than he looks.

“That’s good.” Magnus says, though he doesn’t sound entirely convinced it’s a good thing.

“Mhm.” He cuddles even closer and, in a moment of honesty that would make his grown-up Taako fake his own death and run to live a life herding goats in the mountains, says, “Never had a caregiver before. ’s nice.”

Magnus looks at him, surprised. “Is that so?”

Taako nods. He’s never had anyone to care for him before. Sure, he’s had a few on and off caregivers, but that was rarely more than a one-off occurrence, a moment of weakness late at night. For the most part, it’s just been him putting himself back together. And that’s been okay. But now, he doesn’t think he could go back. It’s nice to have someone he can trust.

Taako has imprinted on Magnus, and Magnus has very well imprinted back.

Taako shifts, propping his head up with his free hand. He’d like to move up near Magnus’s shoulder, but with Merle still holding his other hand, too much movement isn’t that much of a possibility.

“What’s that?” he asks.

Magnus holds up his half-carved duck with pride. “It’s a duck!”

Taako inspects it. From the look of the detail, he’s been at this for some time. How long has he been awake?

Merle gives a great snort in his sleep, causing Taako to jump.

Magnus chuckles. “Looks like you’re stuck for a while.”

Daring another glance over his shoulder, Taako squeezes Merle’s hand, getting a languid squeeze in return. “Don’t mind.”

“Wonderful. You’ve never watched my duck carving, you know. You always say you will but you never do.”

And so Taako spends his morning watching Magnus carve a duck. His knife cuts smoothly through the wood, never a hitch in his strokes. It becomes mesmerizing after a while, a steady rhythm. Taako still has one foot in dreamland, but the ebb and flow of Magnus’s breathing helps keep him grounded.

When the duck is fully carved, he offers it to Taako. “Look familiar?”

Taako grins and taps his finger against the brim of the duck’s hat, a pointed wizard hat with a ribbon around the base. “He has my hat.”

“Another man of taste. What should we name him?”

Taako pauses, rolling the possibilities around in his head before finally deciding, “Howard.”

“That’s a good name…” Magnus trails off, like he’s about to fall back asleep instead.

Taako pouts. Really? Right when he’s woken up? He tugs on the front of Magnus’s shirt, trying his cutest face when he says, “I’m hungry, Maggie.”

Magnus falls for it, hook, line, and sinker. Or maybe he sees right through Taako. Either way, he sits up. “I’ll see if we have anything in our bags. Keep Howard and Merle company, okay?”

Clutching Howard to his chest, Taako scoots over and pokes Merle in the cheek until he stirs.

“What time ‘zit?” Merle mutters. He sits up, brow furrowing at their half-empty bed. “Where’s Magnus?”

“Maggie said get up cuz you’re lazy.” Taako says. No harm in a little fib if it’s funny, right?

“I did not!” Magnus protests from the other side of the room.

Taako giggles, then again as Merle touches a hand to his forehead. He doesn’t know why Merle has taken to checking his temperature; he just thinks it’s funny. Then again, he kind of thinks everything’s funny when he’s relaxed and regressed.

“How are you feeling?” He studies Taako closely, as if searching for any lingering trace of fear.

Why are they so fixated on how he’s feeling all of the sudden? Is that just one of the benefits of being small? Regardless, Taako shrugs. “I need attention.”

“Can’t argue with that. Get your brush out of your bag and I’ll help you with your hair.”

Taako scrambles for his brush and perches himself on the end of the bed, back straight. It’s hard to sit still, though, because his body is overcome with excited wiggles. He lives for having his hair fussed with. He’s still in his clothes from the night before, barring his shoes and hat, so Merle takes the time to straighten out his rumpled clothes first. Taako sits still, idly knocking his ankles together as Merle fusses with his collar.

Magnus finally scrounges up some food—a generic fantasy meal consisting of bread, cheese, and an apple—which Taako happily nibbles on as Merle finishes up tying back his hair.

Magnus beams. “Seems like we’re almost ready to go!”

The bottom of Taako’s stomach falls out. “What?”

Magnus’s smile fades, becomes a little more strained and a little less genuine. “To find the goblet.”

Oh.

Of course they were leaving to find the goblet. Why wouldn’t they? They’re adventurers. It’s what they do. What did he expect? Merle and Magnus to drop everything to care for their regressed friend forever? As nice as that sounds right now, he knows it’s not their style.

But Taako thought he might have a few days to recuperate. He certainly wouldn’t say no to a few more days of spoiling if they allowed him. To leave right now? When he’s only just now starting to get back on his feet? His breathing comes a little harder.

“We’ll be right here with you.” Merle assures him. He takes Taako’s hand as a gesture of comfort.

“Taako…” Magnus says carefully. “You know the monsters aren’t real, right? They’re just people, remember?”

Like that makes a difference. He can barely fathom leaving this room, let alone going on another adventure. Seeing three monsters last night was bad enough. He doesn’t know how he’ll handle an inn, a town, a _world_ full of them.

And what about the dark? Monsters love the dark and the world outside this room can get _really_ dark!

Taako rips his hand free. It upsets him too much to say aloud, but he’s saddest about how they’ve been acting. To think all that fussing was just to keep him complacent! The nerve.

“I can’t…” he whimpers. “I…I can’t.”

It’s like every ounce of fear has been steadily building behind a dam, and now that the dam has broken, it drowns out every other thought and feeling in his head. Tears pool in his eyes, spilling down his cheeks.

Is the room spinning? Are the shadows starting to move? Taako braces his hands against his head, as if he can force the world still, but it doesn’t stop turning. What monsters are waiting for him outside? He knows they aren’t monsters anymore, but his heart still gives a familiar uptick of anxiety whenever he thinks about it.

“Okay, I can’t do this. Adventure cancelled.” Magnus decides. “Look at him, Merle.”

“He’ll stay like this until we get that goblet.” Merle points out. “He could even get worse.”

“We can’t take him out like this.” Magnus insists. “Maybe one of should stay and babysit? Or maybe there’s a town babysitter we can pull a favor from?”

“Okay, but have you even considered how bad we are at doing things as a team of three? Can you imagine how much worse we’ll be down our wizard?”

“Taako is like half of our braincells.” Magnus admits. “But for God’s sake, look at him! If he’s this way about pretend monsters, imagine how he’ll be up against _real_ ones.”

“Listen, you’re going about this all wrong.” Merle says. He grabs Magnus’s hand and yanks him down to his level so he can whisper in his ear.

Taako can’t hear what they’re saying, but they talk for a long time.

“You’re right.” Magnus says finally, but he looks the furthest thing from confident as he says it. “I’ll just go by myself. It should be okay?”

“Huh?” The shock of that statement is enough to stop his tears cold.

“It’s okay, Taako.” Merle says in an overly sweet voice. “We’ll just stay here. It’s okay that you’re too little.”

Taako tries to comfort in that, shoving down the part of him that’s mad over Merle talking to him like he’s a total baby. “Too little.” Like he’s too little for anything!

“Yup. It should be no trouble.” Magnus takes slow, deliberate steps toward the door. “I’ll just go by myself.” He drags out every word.

“Magnus!” Taako hisses. He scurries after Magnus, stopping in the doorway. He frantically checks the hall in both directions. It’s empty, but for how long?

Taako is well-aware that he’s being manipulated. He knows he’s been clinging to Magnus, following him around like a baby duck, but he can’t help it. Magnus means safety, more than anything. Taako doesn’t believe his “proficiency in monster fighting” bit, or at least he pretends not to, but it’s a safer bet than designated “zone of truth” guy Merle.

Taako crosses his arms. “Come back inside and I’ll hug you.”

“But it’s so nice out here! Why don’t you come out here instead? I bet you’d like it if you tried it.” His grin turns slightly teasing. “But I understand if you can’t. You’re just too little.”

It’s the “too little” jab that does it.

Face burning, Taako sucks in a breath, steeling his nerves, and takes a single step outside the threshold. Yeah, Merle is his new favorite person, he’s decided, if only to spite Magnus for putting him through all this.

Magnus gasps, perking up like a puppy. “That’s good, Taako! Just a little more!” He throws out his arms, beckoning Taako over.

Taako looks over his shoulder. Merle is beaming. He tries not to roll his eyes. They’re like a pair of overenthusiastic dads.

He’s about to tell them that they have no right to that look after employing such shady tactics, when the distinct sound of footsteps echoes down the hallway. Taako doesn’t have time to think. He just moves. And he happens to move toward Magnus instead of Merle.

He flings himself at Magnus, and the feeling of being swept into someone’s arms almost instantly calms his heartrate.

Magnus beams at him like he’s conquered the universe with a single spell. “You did it!” Magnus gives his nose a congratulatory bop. “How do you feel?”

“I am not too little.” Taako grumbles.

“Of course not! You’re very big and very brave.”

“I wanna go back to bed.” Taako whines, even if he doesn’t really mean it. At least he can feel in his element bickering with Magnus.

“Hey, now, that’s quitter talk!”

“This is why Merle is my new favorite.”

“Merle’s the one that thought of this, you know.”

Taako thinks on it for a second. “Howard is my new favorite.”

Magnus laughs at that. “You’re doing so good, though! See, we’re almost to the stairs!”

“Huh?” Taako looks down to see Magnus has been moving this entire time and immediately shifts into a pout. “Cheater.”

“Well…maybe.” Magnus sets Taako down. A good idea, Taako realizes, when the change of equilibrium makes his whole body lurch. “But you can go back if you need to. Really.”

Taako wishes he didn’t sound so sincere. He wishes it was another ploy to get him to listen. It’s a choice where he doesn’t have a choice. Because there’s no way he’s going back down that hallway himself. So with a pout growing more pronounced by the second, Taako latches on to the tail of Magnus’s shirt and shuffles behind him.

“I am not too little.” Taako grumbles.

They turn the corner, and that’s when Taako sees his first monster.

She’s tall and spindly, like a bare tree. Her eyes glow like coals, and, when she notices Taako staring, opens her mouth to reveal a blackened, forked tongue.

He tries to tap into his own sense of logic. After all, he knows that it’s a person, not a monster. She may not even be looking at him. But that does little to staunch the tears pricking in his eyes.

He whimpers aloud, expecting nothing to come of it, but Magnus turns him and smiles sadly, like he expected this to happen. Magnus’s giant paw envelops his hand, grounding him with ease. “I have a proficiency in monster fighting, remember?”

“Nuh-uh.” Taako still doesn’t believe it. And once the monster lady passes, he wrenches his hand free. At least this way he can make a break for it if he needs to, because, yes, he’s starting to weigh his chances of turning tail and hiding back in their room. He draws the line at a babysitter, but maybe he can just hide under the bed until they come back?

Magnus takes it all in stride. He stretches out his arms, gesturing to the entire empty hallway. “Do you see anyone attacking us?”

Taako pales and begins to search the corridor, just in case that’s a possibility. He hadn’t thought of that in broad daylight, but since the monsters are still here, it makes sense that they’d still want to attack him regardless of the time of day. “Uh-uh.”

“Exactly! Monsters know better than to challenge me to a fight. Besides, we’ll all be staying out of each other’s ways. All we have to do is walk five minutes, and then we’ll be out of town.” Magnus extends his hand. “Just trust me.”

Taako hesitates for a moment.

Magnus is the more sympathetic one. Taako’s sure that if he cries long enough and loud enough, Magnus will eventually break and take him back to the safety of their room, but the last thing Taako wants is to stay like this forever, tiny and perpetually scared. And more than that? He trusts Magnus.

“Okay,” he whispers. He places his hand in Magnus’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you liked this because I have no idea what the next chapter is going to be about. Please feel free to drop any suggestions you have!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler-y chapter, just for some nice Taako and Merle fluff.

After all Magnus had just put Taako through, he couldn’t very well make him go back to collect the things they’d forgotten.

So instead they had to wait while Merle gathered everything. Not ideal, considering his stubby legs and general unwillingness to do things, but it was the best they had, considering everything else.

Magnus and Taako are waiting for him on the outskirts of the town, perched on a fallen log, far enough away to keep the people passing by from accidentally coming too close.

Taako is sitting on Magnus’s knee, trying very hard to sit tall and look brave as Magnus points out every individual passerby.

Magnus hopes that if he points out every pregnant woman and sweet old man, Taako might get some of his bravery. If anything, it might help him get a little more used to seeing monsters everywhere.

They’re collaborating on a story for the shopkeeper, a slight human girl that Taako sees as a monster with two faces on either side of her head, which rotates and whispers the dates of people’s deaths and the cause of death alternatively. From the way Taako quivers, neither answer is ever pleasant.

Nonetheless, Magnus keeps a firm hand on his back and tries to stay positive. Their story so far is that her name is Aela, and she’s not really as mean as she seems. She thinks it’s better to let people know what they’re getting into. She’d rather see her death coming, so she thinks everyone else is the same. It can be scary to hear, but she never means it maliciously. She means it as a warning.

It was Merle’s idea to make the monsters seem less scary, as opposed to Magnus’s, which was to drill that the monsters weren’t real until Taako believed it. However, the regressed part of him, which is still firmly in the driver’s seat, is more inclined to believe the monsters are real, no matter what his logic says, so Magnus has tried appealing to that.

When Merle comes into sight, Magnus drops what he's saying mid-sentence to point him out. “Look, there’s Merle! Merle!” Magnus calls. “Did you make an order while we were gone?”

Merle drops Magnus’s back at his feet, huffing and puffing like an asthmatic dragon. “No?”

“Are you sure? Someone didn’t order one very brave boy? He faced a town full of monsters all by himself!”

Taako turns a delighted shade of pink at the praise.

“My, my! Well, if no one claims him, I’ll be sure to take him off your hands.” Merle joins them on the log and holds out his arms.

Taako giggles, preening under the attention as he’s set in Merle’s lap.

“Finally.” Merle sighs. “You’ve been hogging him all day, you know.”

“Right.” Magnus says disbelievingly. He plucks the map from Merle’s pocket, ignoring the delighted shriek of laughter Taako gives when Merle tickles his side.

Magnus makes a point of focusing hard on the map. “So I think our best bet is this ominous looking cave a couple miles out from Houndstone.”

“And where’s Houndstone?” Merle asks.

Magnus glances over. Taako has settled, his arms around Merle’s neck, cheek against Merle’s head. He looks utterly relaxed, like not a thing in the world could be wrong. Magnus stamps down the spark of jealousy he feels with ferocity.

“It’s about a day’s walk from here.” Magnus says.

There’s a horrible, anxious silence that falls between them, the unspoken truth, that Taako would not be able to handle that, wafts through the air.

“I can go.” Taako says finally. He at Magnus first, then Merle. He says it so firmly that Magnus almost believes him. “I’ll be okay.”

“Brave boy.” Merle praises, patting his side. Taako slides off his lap. “We’ll stop for the night at sunset, then.”

Magnus and Taako share a brief look of surprise. Is it really that easy? Magnus would at least like to come up with some sort of concrete plan before they make a unanimous decision to do something stupid.

Merle waves their concerns away. “If he thinks he can handle it, he can handle it. After all, didn’t he just make it through town just fine?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “Exactly. Now hold my hand, Taako.”

Taako pouts, the slightest indignance coming into his expression as he crosses his arms. “Is it because I’m too little?”

Oh, he’s still upset about that. Maybe Magnus shouldn’t have teased him as much as he did. He’s gearing up an apology when Merle beats him to it.

“Of course not.” Merle answers. He glances over his shoulder, giving Magnus a barely noticeable wink before conspiratorially whispering, “I just didn’t want to embarrass Magnus. He’s been wandering off a lot lately. I’m sure you noticed.”

Magnus feels his face heat up. “Hey!”

“Now, now,” Merle says. “There’s no need to protest. If we need to keep an eye on Taako, we need to keep an eye on you too.”

Taako giggles from behind his hand. He may not buy it, but he’s more than happy to see Magnus get embarrassed.

“Good.” Merle takes both their hands. “Now come along, you two.”

Taako takes his hand without a word. God, Merle is a natural with him.

Their biggest challenge is keeping Taako from getting bored. They play I-Spy and word games, and when Taako says his feet hurt, Magnus hoists the boy onto his shoulders and carries him for a half an hour. Taako tries to pretend like the sudden boost in height doesn’t utterly skew his perception, but he’s enjoying himself too much to point it out until he starts feeling nauseous.

When he’s set back down, he takes Merle’s hand without a word. Magnus thinks it might comfort him to some degree.

Magnus observes Taako closely. Maybe it’s all the walking, but he seems to be in an older headspace. He’s not as little as he was before they left, and certainly not as little as he was this morning.

Clearly Taako is in his element here—or at least as much as his headspace allows. He’s still not showing any sign of fear. Magnus wants to hope for the best and say he’s coming out of whatever spell the goblet put him under, but the skeptical part of him can’t help but think it’s just a bit of luck.

It’s near sunset when Taako starts to tire. Taako yawns widely, and his step becomes notably slowed.

“I got him.” Magnus offers. He plucks Taako up by his underarms and places the boy on his back. Taako slumps over his shoulders, already dozing. “We should set up camp close to the road. Just in case.”

“You didn’t happen to pack a tent with you, did you?” Merle asks.

“I did actually! Fantasy Costco had them on sale!”

“Stop wasting money on sales.” Taako mumbles sleepily. He cuddles into the crook of Magnus’s shoulder, an act of deliberate cuteness which makes it all the harder to put him down.

Taako’s eyes fly open the second he’s no longer being held, although Merle comes over immediately to comfort him. He warily eyes the pink sky, as if he’s only now realizing that it’s getting dark.

“I have a proficiency in tent-pitching.” Magnus tells them. He undoes the latch holding the tent in place, and it pops out fully ready for habitation. “It’s a really good proficiency.”

Merle raises an eyebrow. “Is that what it is? And not the Fantasy Costco Exclusive Insta-Tent?”

Magnus shrugs. “Same difference!”

Taako clambers over, checking the interior. It’s spacious enough to fit all three of them comfortably, but the protection from the elements means that not much outside light gets through. “It’s a little dark inside…” he says uncertainly. He looks to Magnus with his puppy eyes, as if silently begging for Magnus to have a case of light bulbs and a proficiency in electrical engineering.

“I’ve got it!” Merle says. He snaps his fingers, and suddenly the small tent is flooded with a searingly bright light.

“Isn’t it a little _too _bright?” Magnus asks. His eyes are burning. He covers them, but ends up having to turn away completely due to the sheer intensity of the light.

“It does what we need it to.” Merle answers. Magnus hears him climb into the tent as well.

He blinks once, twice, and once he has his bearings, dares another peek inside.

Taako is already out cold, curled up into a tiny ball in the center of the tent. His hat sits half-bent underneath him, skewed.

“You can sleep outside if you like.” Merle offers. He lifts Taako’s head, slipping his hat out from underneath him and replacing it with a wadded-up blanket. Taako shifts in his sleep, involuntarily turning into the new source of warmth. He settles with his head in Merle’s lap.

“I need to take the first watch anyway.” He doesn’t mean for it to come out bitter, but from the confused look on Merle’s face, it does.

Magnus busies himself with making a fire, just to stop Merle from asking what his problem is.

Hours pass, with little noise other than Merle’s snoring. Magnus keeps vigilant, but occasionally he entertains himself by carving more wooden ducks. He’s amassed a family of three by the time even wood carving can’t keep him occupied.

He supposes he should check on Taako.

He hasn’t had nightmares so far, but it’s only been one night. Magnus knows firsthand that some of the scariest things can come from your own head. And besides that, Merle is a heavy sleeper. He might not wake up if Taako is distressed. Magnus should check on him, just in case.

He squints into the overbright tent to see Taako and Merle fast asleep. Taako has curled around Merle in his sleep, his head tucked in under Merle’s chin. Once again, Taako looks perfectly content, thumb in his mouth and cheeks flushed from being surrounded in warmth.

Magnus hates to admit that he might be the tiniest bit jealous.

He lets the tent flap fall shut and reclines against a nearby tree stump. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to just…rest his eyes…only for a little bit…

….

He jolts awake at the sound of a scream.

“_MAGNUS, HELP!_”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was probably my favorite chapter to write so far! I hope you all like it!

“Taako?”

Magnus stands up, his body ready to leap into action before his brain can catch up. He looks back toward the tent, but can only hear the sound of Merle’s snoring. He’s such a deep sleeper, it’s no surprise Taako managed to wander off.

But why would Taako wander off? He’s so scared of everything! Then again, he was feeling braver earlier today. He’d made so much progress, and Magnus and Merle had admittedly been laying it on a little thick. Perhaps he’d gotten too brave?

“Maggie!” Taako screams, in a tone dangerously close to a wail.

And all his trepidations go flying out the window.

“Taako!” he yells. He casts one last desperate look at the tent, hoping against all hope that Merle will wake up and help, but no one stirs. “Taako, where are you?”

“Magnus?” His speech is slurred, like he’s speaking around his thumb, so it comes out like “Mack-nuth.” It’s usually a surefire way to melt Magnus’s heart, but now it only makes him more desperately afraid. “Magnus, help!”

Magnus doesn’t have to run far to find Taako. He sits curled up at the bottom of the hill, like he might’ve tripped in the dark. He has his left arm cradled close to his chest and his fingers in his mouth. Even in the dim light, Magnus can see the tears streaming down his face.

“Taako, what happened?” Magnus runs the rest of the way, kneeling beside Taako.

“It hurts, Magnus.” His lower lip is quivering as he speaks, and Magnus is pretty sure his heart breaks.

“Hey, hey, shh. It’s alright. Let me see it.” He holds out his hand.

Sobbing, Taako slowly takes his arm away from his chest.

Magnus takes Taako’s hand in both of his, gently running his thumbs down Taako’s palm. There’s no blood, but his wrist does look bent at an odd angle. It looks like a sprain at the worst. If anything, he thinks the fall in the dark merely scared Taako instead of really hurting him.

“It doesn’t look bad.” Magnus assures him. “I have a proficiency in making splints, you know.” He reaches behind him, feeling blindly for a stick or something else stiff he can use as a splint. Since it’s just a sprain, it doesn’t need to be a particularly good splint. It just has to be enough to get him back to the tent.

“O-okay.” Taako gives a great sniff.

Magnus goes to pull the spare bandages he keeps in his breast pocket, but Taako’s hand, locked firmly around his wrist, keeps him in place. “Taako, you need to let go, honey.”

An awful smile splits Taako’s face. His fingernails dig painfully into Magnus’s wrist. “I do love easy prey.”

Magnus’s heart stops, and he jerks his head up to look Taako in the face. Now that he’s looking closely, he can see how many details are wrong. The shape of Taako’s ears, the curve of his lips, all small enough for him not to notice right away. This isn’t Taako.

“How…?”

“Mind-reading, baby.” Not-Taako answers. “Usually it takes me a bit longer, but you just don’t have much going on upstairs, do you?” Not-Taako springs, shoving Magnus to the ground and pinning him by his arms. His eyes are glimmering with a pale yellow light. “The fighters are fun every once in a while, but a guy can’t always enjoy the foreplay when he’s hungry.”

Magnus weighs his options. He doesn’t have a weapon on him, but he might be able to land a solid punch if he can wrestle one of his arms free.

He tries to distract Not-Taako, acting as if he’s trying to free his left hand.

Not-Taako chuckles, his voice low and gravelly. Its all kinds of wrong coming from Taako’s mouth. He shifts his weight, putting it a little harder on Magnus’s left arm. He’ll be easier to knock off balance now. “By the way, while we’re here, do you mind if I ask?”

Magnus just raises an eyebrow. “Ask what?”

Not-Taako giggles, hiding his mouth behind his hand in a way that is so fundamentally Taako, with an extra layer of malice added on top. “Why the person you care most about is a grown man acting like a baby…?”

“Okay, _first of all_, his headspace age is eight, second of all, I _do_ mind, and _third of all_, do you have any room to talk when you’re getting off to eating people in the woods?”

With a roll of his eyes, Not-Taako waves him off. “Okay, okay, I get it. You love him a lot. Him and the goofy dwarf. Just thought I’d ask. No need to get so touchy.” Not-Taako shrugs, still looking irritatingly amused. “And here I thought we could chat a bit. Oh well. Guess I’ll just eat you.”

Not-Taako drops his jaw, letting his forked tongue slither out. A hundred sharp teeth pop from his gums. Magnus takes the time to wrench his right arm free and punch Not-Taako right in the face.

Not-Taako’s head snaps to the side, but the blow doesn’t disorient him as much as Magnus had hoped it would. The most it does is corrupt its disguise.

In a split second, the Taako disguise vanishes around the face, leaving Magnus staring at a monster with teeth like an angler fish and empty white eyes.

Not-Taako spins back on him, teeth bared in fury, one half Taako and one half monster. “You shouldn’t have done that.” Not-Taako hisses. Its voice has dropped an octave, sounding raspy and choked.

Magnus thinks it might just be over when someone screams from behind him.

“_YOU’RE IN TIME-OUT!_”

The crack that follows is deafening.

Not-Taako goes flying of his chest and hits a nearby tree, the force of the impact shattering his illusion completely. Not-Taako melts into a sleek black figure, with long talons and luminescent white eyes. It dashes into the shadows, spitting and hissing, and disappears without another sound.

Magnus half-sits up to find his head spinning. “Taako?”

Taako, _the real Taako_, runs the rest of the way down the hill, his umbrella clutched to his chest like a security blanket.

He’s pouty and only half-awake, rumpled and warm from sleep. He crouches in front of Magnus. “You okay?” His voice is still rough. He must’ve just woken up.

“I’m fine.”

Refusing to fall for the same trick twice, Magnus scans his features. The ears are right this time, and so is the shape of his mouth. And this time, Magnus realizes belatedly, his clothes are rumpled from sleep and he’s barefoot. They don’t want to ask and embarrass him, but he and Merle are fairly sure Taako has some trouble putting his shoes on without help when he’s regressed.

“What are you doing here?” Magnus asks.

“Heard you calling.” Taako explains. “Merle wouldn’t wake up.”

He came out here by himself? Just because he heard Magnus was in trouble? Magnus wants to clamber to his feet, to swoop Taako into the biggest hug he can manage, but he finds himself unable to move. “Must’ve been scary to come out here yourself.”

It’s an understatement he uses only because Taako seems calm and Magnus doesn’t want to get him worked out. No, try _terrifying_. Or _life-threateningly stupid_. Or mostly, _something that Magnus never thought Taako would do especially when so paralyzed by fear_.

Taako leans in and wraps his arms around Magnus’s neck. “Lotsa mimics in the forest,” he says, half-scolding.

Magnus is suddenly reminded that this forest was marked as “Mimic Wood” on their map. Man, that would’ve been good information ten minutes ago.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have wandered off.” Magnus laughs at the irony of that. “Thank you, Taako.”

“Mhm.” Taako tucks his face into the crook of Magnus’s neck, folding his knees underneath him. It’s only now that Magnus can feel how badly Taako is shaking. “Bedtime.”

“Okay.” Magnus’s heart rate decreases by a tick. “Okay.” He wraps his arms tight around Taako’s shoulders. “Alright, honey, let’s go back to bed.” He slips a hand under Taako’s knees and carries him back to their tent.

No sooner than he’s placed Taako inside is Taako climbing back out to join Magnus by the fire, handkerchief in hand.

Before Magnus can even ask, Taako grabs his wrist, using the handkerchief to staunch the blood. “That was silly,” he says reproachfully.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just heard you scream and I didn’t think.”

Taako’s features tighten. “’m not a baby. Can still fight and take care of myself.”

“I know. I see that now. That was one hell of a magic missile.” He realizes a second too late that he said a semi-swear. “Don’t repeat that.”

Half a smile tugs at Taako’s lips. He drops his head and continues dabbing at the scratches. Magnus hadn’t realized just how deep the cuts went until now.

“I’ve done it before.” Taako says simply. He presses his thumbs against the scratches, hoping to stop the bleeding through pressure. “Adventured by myself. Fought monsters while regressed.”

“You have?”

Taako nods. “Used to always regress by myself.”

“Well that doesn’t sound fun at all. What did you even do?”

“Coloring books.”

“I see.” Magnus makes a mental note to buy out Fantasy Costco for every coloring book he can get his hands on.

“It’s nicer this way.” Taako says suddenly. His voice is barely above a whisper. “’m glad Merle found out.”

“Yeah?”

“Make me feel safe. You and Merle. Makes everything less scary.”

“You’ve been very brave.” Magnus says, pleased to watch the tips of Taako’s ears go pink.

For a beat, the only sound around them is the crackling of the fire.

“It’s okay now.” Taako says, which is his way of changing the subject, and removes the handkerchief. He leans in and kisses it better for good measure.

“Does Merle know you’re gunning for his job as team healer?” Magnus teases.

“No. You get hurt too much. Too much work.” He clambers into Magnus’s lap, burying his face in the folds of Magnus’s tunic. “Bedtime,” he says simply.

“You’re not really going to sleep out here, are you?”

Taako nods.

“Even though it’s dark?”

Taako nods again.

“Are you sure?”

Another nod.

“If you’re sure…” Magnus wraps his arms around Taako’s waist and holds him tight. He cringes at the feel of Taako’s heartbeat, rapid, stuttering, and shaky.

Poor Taako. Not only is he terrified, but there’s no way he’ll be able to get to sleep in this state. He can see the way Taako’s eyes fly open every few seconds, the way he jolts at the slightest sounds. Even with how jealous he’s been, this doesn’t feel like a victory.

He switches tactics. “Don’t you think Merle is missing you? Come on, I promise, no more running into the woods unsupervised.”

Taako whines and cuddles in closer. It’s his tired whine, but it’s clear this is more of an intentional move on his part. He wants Magnus to think he’s closer to falling asleep than he actually is. It slowly dawns on Magnus that his acting tired may be a complete act to reassure _Magnus _he’s not afraid, as if Magnus is the one that needs looking after.

Maybe it’s not the mimics fooling Magnus he’s afraid of. After all, Taako also came running without a second thought.

“I promise that I’ll stay here all night. I’ll even warn Merle about the mimics, and if anything attacks, I’ll call out to you.”

Taako still looks unconvinced, like he can see right through Magnus and knows it’s just a ploy to get him back into the tent.

“Goodnight, Taako.” Perhaps his latest brush with death has made him bold, because he kindly presses his lips to Taako’s forehead. He takes Taako by the underarms and places him back in the tent.

Taako’s eyes go wide, wild and desperate. “No,” he gasps, struggling against Magnus’s hold. “_No!_”

“Taako, Taako, shh. Here.” Magnus thrusts out his hand, a movement so sudden and random that Taako is stunned into silence.

He blinks up at Magnus, trying to decipher what’s being asked of him. His eyes look so tired. How long has he been fighting back sleep?

“I have to keep watch still, but you can hold my hand to know that I’m still here, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

The tears that had been building in his eyes spill over, dripping down his cheeks in tiny drops.

“Come on.” Magnus coaxes. “It’s bedtime, isn’t it?”

He’s asking so much more than that, and he knows it. He’s asking Taako to let go of the little control he has left of his surroundings, putting his faith entirely in Magnus. It would be so easy to slip away, to get attacked and replaced by a Not-Magnus, and Taako would never know the difference, and then one of the only two people he could trust would no longer be trusted. It’s so much to ask of a scared little boy.

Taako flattens his hand in Magnus’s, his palm surprisingly cold.

“Okay.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really happy with this chapter! Taako's headspace here is what I'll most likely write him like in future stories. Also I think I finally got a hold of Merle's character!

They arrive at Houndstone while the morning dew is still fresh in the grass.

Taako has feeling equal parts big and small after the ordeal last night.

Because on one hand, Magnus scared the absolute shit out of him, but on the other hand, Magnus scared the absolute shit out of him. So while part of him wants to be small and reassured, the other part is angry, overwhelmed, and very, very bossy.

Magnus hasn’t been allowed to let go of his hand since they took off at dawn.

Houndstone is gigantic. Huge, towering buildings, their bases and floors woven into spiraling trees, which do nothing to help his skewed perspectives.

Merle doesn’t even have time to tell Taako to take his hand before Taako does it himself.

“They’re just people, bud.” Merle reminds him.

Oh God the people. Taako hadn’t even noticed the sheer volume of _people_ here. Here he was getting overwhelmed with the size of the buildings when there are hundreds of monsters flooding the streets. Any bigness he’d woken up with retreats deep inside of him.

Magnus squeezes his hand. “It’s okay, Taako,” he murmurs. “Remember the stories, okay?”

The stories. Right. Every monster has one, and every monster is a lot less scary when you consider theirs. He knows this. And if he just keeps that in mind, things should be fine. He nods.

A monster greets them at the gate. Taako likes to think he tends to bunnies in his free time.

It’s early in the day, so most of the taverns aren’t open yet, at least not to the people who would have the right information, so the three of them head to a large area just off main street.

Vendors’ stalls dot the alcove. Magnus immediately scouts out the vendor at the sweets stall and strikes up a rapport. Taako’s body immediately goes tense at the sight of Magnus casually walking up to a demon with horns a foot tall and dripping with blood, but as she clasps her gray taloned hands together and swishes her skirt, Taako tells himself he has nothing to fear.

“How ya holding up, kiddo?” Merle asks after a moment.

“Small.” Taako answers.

“I feel ya. These buildings are _huge_.” Merle offers him a sidelong glance. “Do you need to be somewhere quieter, less crowded?”

“I’m okay.” He almost means it. A break from the noise would be nice, but he doesn’t like the idea of being that far away from Magnus doesn’t bode well in his gut.

“If you’re sure…”

Taako isn’t sure why Merle lets the subject drop so easily. Maybe because for once Taako isn’t visibly shaking or on the cusp of a mental breakdown for once. You’ve gotta take the little victories where you can.

“Wait a second, that’s one of my cousins.” Merle mutters. Taako follows his line of sight to a monster notably shorter than everyone else, which Taako has come to realize means the person is a dwarf. “Hold on, I have to pretend I like him.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, takes a deep breath, and throws up an arm. “Horksen!”

The other dwarf, Horksen, turns. “Merle?”

“I thought it was you!” Merle makes his way over, tugging Taako along behind him.

“What are you doing in Houndstone?”

“Well, we’re after a wizard that cursed our friend here. We’re thinking he’s probably in that spooky cave nearby.”

Horksen nods. “Oh, that’s probably Skeleton Greg. You sure you wanna go there, though? It’s pretty dangerous.”

As the conversation wears on, Taako finds his attention straying. His eyes roam the stalls. Magnus is still at the sweets stall, the vendor speaking to him with rapt attention. If he were feeling bold enough, he’d go over there and swipe a snack or two, but at the moment, it doesn’t seem worth the effort.

His eyes scan the rest of the stalls. One for fresh fruit, another for small trinkets. None of them particularly catch Taako’s eye, until he notices a stand across the way.

A novelties stall, manned by a bored-looking monster with transparent skin. He, however, is deep in conversation with a small monster with mouths on her shoulders, so he pays no attention to Taako, or anyone for that matter.

The stall is littered with toys. Simple wooden toys and games designed for small children, which would’ve been enough to get Taako’s attention, but the real kicker is the plush animals that line the shelves of his cart behind the stall.

Taako spares a glance back at Merle and his cousin, who are too deep in conversation to notice, and decides to make his break for it.

He checks both directions, making sure the coast is clear before padding off towards the toys. There aren’t many monsters around here, at least not walking around as much. It’s a straight shot to the toy cart.

Up close, he can’t help getting a little starry-eyed. The barn owl plush looks so soft, but so does the fox! And Magnus would love the dog one. Even the ones of monsters, modeled after ogres and giants and vampires, still look cuddly. Taako is overwhelmed with the urge to bury himself in a pile of them, an impulse so childish he almost can’t bring himself to resist.

“Hi there! Can I help you?”

Taako’s entire body jolts at the sound of a voice right beside him, undoubtedly directed at him. His first thought is to flee, but there are only more monsters behind him. Merle and Magnus are nowhere in sight. Taako tears his eyes from the cart to look the vendor in the eye.

The monster with the transparent skin, the stall’s vendor, looks at him expectantly, a surprisingly pleasant smile on his face. Impressive, since Taako can see how the action stretches and contorts the muscles in his face.

“Um…” Taako ducks his head, trying to look as small and not-worthy-of-eating as he can manage.

The monster presses on, undeterred by Taako’s lack of answer. “Are you looking to buy anything in particular?”

“I’m…just looking.” Taako answers. He can hear his adult brain whispering to him, telling him what would be a good thing to say right now. He listens, but only because bursting into tears and running full tilt for Magnus doesn’t sound as socially acceptable right now. “The craftsmanship is very impressive.”

The monster beams. “Thank you! I sew all these myself.”

“Wow. Must take a long time.”

“Depends on the plush.” The monster grabs for a plush on the bottom shelf, a simple jelly. “Something like this? I can scruff it in a day.” He picks up another. “But something like this can take me a week or two.”

“_Ooh_.” Taako is halfway reaching for the plush in question when he catches himself and hastily stuffs his hands in his pockets.

It’s a huge, finely detailed bugbear plush. It’s dressed in a standard adventurer’s outfit, complete with a foam sword and a health potion attached to its belt. Taako can practically feel the softness of its fur, styled into a nice mane.

He wants it. He wants it so bad.

“Very impressive.” Taako repeats, because he’s at a loss of what else to say.

“You can hold it if you’d like,” the monster offers. “Trust me, they’re super soft.”

Suspicion twinges in the back of Taako’s mind. This is exactly how monsters lure in kids like him and kill them. He’s read the fairy tales. But he gets the feeling Little Red didn’t have nearly as many spell slots as he does, so after a long moment of hesitation, he takes the plush from the monster’s hands and gives it an experimental squeeze.

He lets out an involuntary gasp. It’s squishy, too! It molds around the curve of his chest, and the material is just as soft as he thought it’d be. And it’s big!

Taako has never had many plushies, aside from the one or two he’s nabbed from various stores, but they’ve always been sized for actual kids, so he’s never kept them around for long. But this one is perfect, big enough for him to securely wrap his arms around and use as a pillow.

The monster grins. “My daughter loves that one too. It’s been hell to try and convince her that I need to sell it.”

He has a daughter? That makes him a lot less scary. Taako can imagine him walking hand in hand with a baby monster, trying to keep her from wandering off or jumping into the fountain in the town square.

He finds his voice again. “It’s really nice. A very good huggable friend.” Despite how much he doesn’t want to, he hands the plushie back over.

The vendor laughs as he places the toy back on the top shelf. “‘Huggable friend.’ That’s awesome. I’m gonna have to use that in my next ad.” His gaze shifts momentarily to something over Taako’s shoulder. “I’ll let you get back to your friends. I think they’re waiting for you.”

“Huh?” Taako whips his head around.

Merle and Magnus are unabashedly gawking and unabashedly beaming. His face burns.

He checks both ways and has no shame on running the pathway over to them. He doesn’t even say goodbye.

“Look at our brave boy!” Merle coos. He looks so _proud_, so legitimately _proud_, that Taako can’t help whining and shifting uncomfortably. Getting fussed over and cuddled is one thing, but for them to be so invested, to praise every step he takes like it’s actual progress, is something he was woefully underprepared to deal with.

“The bravest boy.” Magnus confirms.

Merle chuckles. “Never thought I’d be proud of one of my kids for wandering off and talking to strangers, but here we are.”

“I think that deserves a cake pop.” Magnus pulls one of many wrapped cake pops from his pocket to give to Taako. Taako forgets about some of his embarrassment after that.

“Did you steal that?” Merle asks. Taako pops it into his mouth before Merle can even suggest putting it back.

“If it makes you feel better, the vendor lady made a really racist comment about dwarves while we were talking.”

“If I’m being honest, it does, but is this really a good example to set?”

“Yeah! Steal from people, and if you wander off unsupervised and talk to strangers you get free candy.” Magnus counts them both off on his fingers. “Sounds legit to me.”

“So no luck?” Taako asks.

“Not for me, no.” Magnus says. “The vendor pointed me in the direction of a couple bars, but not much else.” He looks to Merle. “What about you?”

“All Horksen would tell me was that it was dangerous and a bad idea. But that guy’s always been a stick in the mud.”

Magnus nudges Taako next. “What about you, Taako? Manage to squeeze any information out of that bugbear plush?”

Despite Magnus’s sly grin, it takes Taako a moment to figure out why he even asked. Then it hits him. He’s being _teased_. Taako puts on his meanest frown, which ends up just being his cutest pout, and punches Magnus’s arm. Even if he’d been trying, he knows he couldn’t do much damage, but it’s not about hurting Magnus. It’s about making a point, and that point is that he _won’t_ stand for mockery, thank you very much.

Merle steps between them, barely able to suppress his laughter. “Come on, you two. No teasing. No hitting. Did she specify which bars?”

“One. ‘The Wild Winghorn.’ She said it should be on this corner…” Magnus peers over the crowd, looking for the right sign.

Merle nudges Taako’s shoulder and points to Magnus’s pockets with a mischievous grin.

Taako doesn’t need to be told twice. His hand moves in a flash, easily plucking a second cake pop from Magnus’s pocket. He takes another for good measure, but Merle politely declines when he offers.

“There it is!” Magnus says. He turns back, so Taako hides the extra cake pops behind his back. “And it’s open!”

“I could go for a little lunch myself.” Merle admits.

Taako hastily unwraps his second cake pop when Magnus turns his back again and hums his agreement.

Magnus stops mid-step, an exaggerated look of surprise on his face. “Oh, darn! I think I left my axe back at that vendor’s stall!” He shoots a conspiratorial wink at Merle. “I’ll be right back.”

Taako furrows his brow, watching Magnus leave with the axe perched very visibly on his back. He only assumes Merle doesn’t say anything because it’ll probably be funny.

“I’m letting him get this because he’s jealous.” Merle explains with a fond roll of his eyes. He sits down on an empty bench, so Taako joins him. “Can you believe it? It’s like he doesn’t even realize he’s the favorite.”

Taako frowns. Get what? And favorite? He doesn’t say anything, though, just nods and takes another bite.

Suddenly Merle looks to him, eyes full of genuine concern. “Really, though, you’re holding up okay?”

Taako shrugs. He takes out his third cake pop and nibbles on the edges.

“You did good today. I’m sure you didn’t mean to talk to that guy at his stand, but you handled it well. And you’ve been amazing considering the crowd.”

Taako keeps nibbling. He’d rather not talk about this, not if they’re going to insist what he did was so important. He just talked to a man because he gets single-minded about plushies! They probably wouldn’t be as happy if they heard that, though. “Thanks.”

“I mean it, Taako.” Merle trails off. “Don’t tell Magnus this, but Horksen didn’t exactly get my hopes up about this cave. I’m not saying we shouldn’t go, but…but I think the closer you get to beating this curse on your own, the better.”

“It’s hard.” Taako admits. “’N I’m scared about going into that cave.” He’s sure none of this is a surprise. After all the freaking out he’s done over the dark, he can only guess Magnus and Merle were either trying to find a suitable bribe or a babysitter.

Merle opens his mouth to say something else, but Taako isn’t done yet.

“But I’m so mad. At me. At the cup. At everything.” A quiver of rage trails up his arms, and he clenches his teeth. “And if I don’t get to destroy it with my own hands, I’ll never be happy.” He looks over at Merle, almost shocked at how concerned Merle looks. Almost. He knows how angry he must look. “And I’ll go with or without you.”

Merle holds up a placating hand. “Easy there, kiddo. You know Magnus and I would never let you go out there on your own.”

Taako leans back, forces himself to breathe. Of course he knows that. He also knows his anger won’t do him any good when he and Merle are basically alone and completely safe.

But he can’t help it. He can still see Magnus, pinned under a mimic, on death’s door because he thought Taako was so defenseless he had to come running at the first hint of danger. It’s not that they see him as lesser. It’s that they see him as worth _protecting_, so much so that they’re vulnerable. And _goddammit_, that makes him so mad. He needs to know Magnus and Merle are okay.

It feels like he’s in an unwinnable situation, where no matter what he does, he’ll always be safe and the people he cares about will be the ones getting hurt instead. It makes him feel so helpless.

“Hey, now.” Merle places his hand on top of Taako’s. “Those seem like some heavy thoughts for such a little mister. Whatever’s bothering you, let’s worry about it later, okay? Here comes Magnus.”

Magnus jogs over, hiding something behind his back.

“Your axe?” Taako asks, just to make him squirm.

“Oh, it was on my back the entire time. But, on the bright side, I found something way cooler.” With a grin growing wider by the second, Magnus removes whatever he’s hiding from behind his back.

The bugbear plushie!

Taako is on his feet, snatching it out of Magnus’s hands without thinking. Immediately he clutches it to his chest, hugging it until the tension melts out of his body. Things start to go fuzzy around the edges again, and he lets it happen. He doesn’t want to be mad right now. Not when they still have some time left.

“We really are proud of you.” Merle says.

“And we didn’t steal this!” Magnus adds proudly. “We paid for it like good, law-abiding citizens with gold I stole from a drunk guy!”

“I thought you had enough money.”

“I did, but that’ll teach him not to be drunk before noon.”

Taako throws himself at both of them before he can think better of it. It’s awkward, trying to get both of them into a hug, and in the end he has to sort of pull Magnus down into a crouch to get his arms around both Magnus’s and Merle’s necks, but it’s worth it.

“Thank you.”

Magnus and Merle simultaneously melt, their voices overlapping. Taako can make out a few scattered “aww”s and one or two “don’t worry about it”s, but that’s all. Everything else is just meaningless noise, chatter that he doesn’t need to make sense of to be comforted by.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Fantasy Buffalo Wild Wings. Enjoy a filler-y plot and comedy chapter

Magnus realizes the Wild Winghorn is a bad idea the second they step foot inside.

First of all, it’s bustling with people. Even more so than Main Street. It must be the lunch rush. Magnus immediately looks to Taako, who is utterly unconcerned with the bustle.

He’s currently fussing with his bugbear’s mane, which is parted slightly off-center. He doesn’t even seem to care about all the activity and sound around him. No, his little world is confined to just him and his new friend.

No one gives Taako a second glance, not that he cares either way. Bars like these get weird ragtag adventurers all the time. Even a wizard cuddling a stuffed animal is nothing new.

They’re barely seated before the waitress is there, beaming like her life depends on it. “Merry meet, adventurers! Welcome to the Wild Winghorn. Whatever you hanker for, we will try our best to supply!”

“Yeah, we’ll just have an order of the boneless wings.” Magnus replies.

“And to soothe your parched tongues?”

“Water.” Merle answers. From the look on his face, he’s seen the price of drinks in this place.

“Fantasy Coke.” Magnus answers.

The waitress cringes. “Is Fantasy Pepsi okay?”

“You know, I’ll just have a beer.”

“Me too.” Taako pipes up.

“Absolutely not.” Magnus says, but the waitress has already left.

Taako pouts. “Why not?”

Magnus just raises an eyebrow. “How old are you right now?”

Taako considers, then answers with a smug smile. “_Fifty-three_ in human years.”

Magnus pauses. He’s not very good at math, but he knows right away this is an elf years/human years trick. “Give me a second.” He produces a pencil from his breast pocket and starts scribbling on a napkin.

Merle leans over. “Why are you just multiplying random numbers? Use long division.”

“Well, seven doesn’t go into five so long division won’t even help. I’m just trying to find the closest whole number.”

“It’s seven. Seven times seven is forty-nine.”

“Okay, so he’s…roughly seven.”

“And a half.” Taako adds.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it’s not a good idea to let a seven-year-old drink.” The waitress returns with their drinks, so Magnus takes both beers before Taako can grab his.

Taako leans back and folds his arms. “Fine. Enjoy your stale pisswater.”

Magnus responds by sticking out his tongue, if only to make Taako giggle. He can let Taako cursing slide, but just this once. Only because it’s been a good day.

Merle kicks him, indicating he better cut it out, before turning back to the waitress. “Can we order something else? Something that isn’t on the menu?” Merle asks pointedly.

The waitress narrows her eyes. “Depends on the components. But I’m sure we might have something _out back_. If you’ve got the extra coin.” Her gaze flits to Magnus for some reason. “And you’re not a cop.”

Merle ignores how much that sounds like a proposition for drugs, somehow keeping up his cordial smile. “Information? Particularly that about a certain Skeleton Greg?”

The waitress rolls her eyes, utterly disinterested. “Oh, that weirdo. You’re going to want to try Farsworn Skullsplitter over there. He rips shitholes like that apart for fun.” She goes to leave, but turns back at the last second. “Oh, and if you could? Tell him to return his magical rune…game…thing. He hasn’t even been using it and there’s a queue.”

“Sure thing!” Merle says. “Taako, would you like to stay at the table while we talk to him?” He gives a pointed look at Magnus’s beer and winks.

“I’ll come with.” Taako trails behind them, plushie still clutched to his chest. Magnus doesn’t think he’s put it down once since he’s gotten it.

Farsworn Skullsplitter is a large man. Human, and about Magnus’s size. The only thing that stops him from being truly scary is his ostentatious beer gut, which protrudes no matter how hard his armor is trying to work for him. And if his giant size and giant sword weren’t enough to pick him out from a crowd, he has a large cracked skull emblazoned on the back of his armor.

Magnus can tell just from looking at him that he’s one of _those_ adventurers, but still, he tries to be cordial. “Good afternoon, Mr. Skullsplitter.” Magnus begins.

Farsworn scowls. “Move aside, assholes! You’re blocking the game!”

Magnus checks behind him, but the only “game” he sees is the one playing on TV. The TV that’s high over their heads. The one they couldn’t possibly block even if all three of them were stacked on one another’s shoulders. Magnus is immediately overwhelmed with the urge to punch him.

“Sorry, sorry.” Merle pushes against Magnus’s leg until he moves. “We were wondering if we could ask you some questions? After all, we’ve always wanted the chance to talk to an adventurer of your stature.”

Farsworn glares for a moment, as if he’s trying to pick out the insult from amongst all the two- and three-syllable words. “The fuck is that supposed that mean? Get out of here before I introduce you to the pointy end of my sword.”

“We just wanted to know what you know about the nearby cave!” Magnus tries.

Farsworn’s eyebrow twitches. Wrong thing to say. “Oh, you’re trying to step on my game, huh? You think I was going to go halvsies on the _Cave of Infinite Horrors_? Now I’m gonna double kick your ass.”

He stands, and Magnus rears back, clenching his fists in preparation for a good old-fashioned bar fight, when Taako steps in front of him.

“Hi, mister,” he says, then murmurs something that sounds suspiciously like “charm person.”

The effects are immediate. Farsworn’s shoulders slump and his jaw slackens. Without the tension he’s been holding, he looks like a completely different person. He grins up at the three of them. Taako gently nudges him back into his seat. “That’s better!”

“Wait, hold on…” Farsworn works his jaw. “What was I saying?”

“You were going to tell us where it is and how to get to the Cave of Infinite Horrors?” Merle suggests.

Farsworn furrows his brow. “Oh, I don’t know…”

Taako touches his shoulder, effectively reclaiming Farsworn’s attention, and bats his eyelashes. He tucks his chin in against his bugbear plush, which works to make him look impossibly sweet. “Please, Uncle Farsworn?”

Farsworn melts. “Oh, kiddo. You know you can call me Uncle Bill. Farsworn’s just my work name. And I suppose there isn’t any harm in telling you.” He pats Taako’s head. “After all, someone needs to appreciate my hard work, huh?”

“Mhm!” Taako sits on his lap like it’s story time, which only makes Farsworn sit up straighter.

“The Cave of Infinite Horrors is usually inaccessible. You have to wait until the full moon, when the moonlight is shining just right through the trees, and use this to focus the light on a pattern of rubies.” He pulls out an object that looks like a monocle. The outside ring is made of stone, cracked with flecks of gold, and the glass center is tinted silver. “Seer Stone’ll open that cave right up.”

“_Ooh_.” Taako reaches for it, but Farsworn pulls it out of his grasp.

“Sorry, kiddo. This thing cost me a mountain of gold to get my hands on. Besides, it’s too dangerous for a little guy like you!” He boops Taako’s nose, and Magnus tries not to scowl. That’s _his_ thing.

“How dangerous are we talking?” Merle asks.

“No one really knows, aside from the fact that the other guys who’ve gone in have never come out alive. Picked this baby up in a property auction myself.”

Taako leans in, hiding how he deftly plucks the Seer Stone from Farsworn’s hand and tucks it down his own sleeve under the guise of a hug.

“And you’re planning to do…what?” Magnus prods.

“Storm the place. After all, the full moon is tomorrow night. I reckon that’s plenty enough time to throw together enough fortifying potions that I’ll make it through any enemy no problem. Even if Skeleton Greg doesn’t have much treasure, all those adventurers who didn’t make it back must have had a shit ton of loot on them.”

Taako’s eyes light up at the mention of loot.

“We’ll be right back.” Magnus pulls Merle toward the bathrooms, barely dodging a waitress toting a platter of chicken tenders. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Taako yawn and rest his head on Farsworn’s massive shoulder. “I don’t know about you, but bringing the perpetually scared kid into something called the Cave of Infinite Horrors sounds like a bad idea.”

“He’s getting better.” Merle points out.

“Sure, but _Cave of Infinite Horrors_ better?”

Merle cringes, and unable to look Magnus in the eye, glances back over at Taako. Whatever he sees makes him crack a small smile, so Magnus decides he most definitely doesn’t want to know.

“Maybe I shouldn’t mention this, but back at the vendors’ alley, I noticed something.” Merle waves his hand, trying to drum up the right words. Magnus doesn’t like that concerned look he has. “When he got mad…it was like the last of that fog in his eyes cleared. It felt like I was talking to adult Taako, but everything about him just clammed up.”

Magnus furrows his brow. Why is Merle telling him this? “That’s…weird.”

“But then once you gave him that toy, it was like he was back to normal. I think that curse has more power over him that he realizes and it’s frustrating him. He could probably help us track the goblet, and even if he can’t, I think he needs to be the one to get rid of it. For his own sake.”

Merle lets that hang for a second before continuing.

“He also mentioned that he’ll be going to destroy that goblet with or without us, so I don’t think it’ll be any use trying to sneak off without him.”

Magnus knows without having to think about it that it’ll be impossible to get that Seer Stone off of him now. “You could’ve started with that, you know.”

“Well, I’m sorry I needed to get that other thing off my chest. I was concerned. The point still stands that we don’t have much of a choice.”

“A choice about what?”

Magnus jumps to see Taako peeking over his shoulder. How was he able to move that quietly? “Um, about things?”

Taako shrugs, completely unconcerned. “Okay. Buy me ice cream. Farsworn’s breath smelled like beer and cheap potions.”

“So you didn’t actually like that guy.” Magnus confirms.

“Are you really getting jealous of ex-frat guys?” Merle chuckles.

“He freaked me out.” Taako adds under his breath.

It’s almost natural for Magnus to slip a protective arm around Taako’s shoulders. “You did a good job.”

When they return to their table, their food still hasn’t arrived yet, so Taako takes the time to turn the Seer Stone into a necklace for his bugbear plush, which he tells Magnus and Merle is named Chester.

Their food hasn’t even arrived yet when they hear a familiar voice scream with rage from across the room.

“That little shit stole my Seer Stone!” Farsworn booms, causing the patrons around him to jump and duck out of the way. Apparently this is not a new thing for their dear Farsworn.

Merle shoulders his bag. “Time to go.”

Taako reaches into his pocket, producing a handful of gold that he plunks on the table to cover the cost of their meal. Magnus can only guess he’d swiped that from Farsworn when no one was paying attention.

Before they can exit the booth, Farsworn is right in front of them, snarling and removing his sword from its scabbard.

“_You_,” he growls. “Give me back my stone!”

“Stay behind me!” Magnus warns. He takes out his axe, effortlessly blocking Farsworn’s first swing.

However, in one fluid motion, Farsworn pivots his left foot, and before Magnus can react, he’s sent sprawling by a foot to the gut. He feels a table crack beneath him.

“Hand over the toy, you brat!” Farsworn roars, whirling on Taako.

“Make me!” Taako taunts. Probably the worst thing to say in this situation.

He swings, and Taako drops to dodge, but still manages to catch the arc of Farsworn’s elbow. He hits the floor with a painful-sounding thump, and Chester goes flying out of his arms.

Magnus is halfway to his feet, halfway to grabbing his axe, when the worst happens and Farsworn swings on a defenseless, scared Taako with the intent to kill.

The scream is there, ready to come ripping from his throat, but as Farsworn brings down his sword, Taako grabs him by the wrists.

Whatever spell he casts creates a blinding light, and once that light fades, Farsworn is frozen in a block of ice, a look of pure terror cemented on his face.

“Taako, did you _kill him_?” Merle cries. He looks about as terrified as Magnus feels. Magnus’s blood is still roaring in his ears. In fact, the only person who seems fine is Taako.

“I wasn’t trying to.” Taako scoops up Chester, frowning as he brushes the dirt from Chester’s mane. “He should be okay.”

“Are you serious?” The waitress from earlier stands in front of them, suddenly looking about a decade older. Magnus can only guess that she’s the one that’ll have to clean most of this up, including the Farsworn, who’s already starting to thaw.

“Oh.” Taako takes the rune tablet from the ground and holds it up. “Here’s your game tablet back.”


	9. Chapter 9

Right before dusk falls, when the streets begin to clear and a hush falls over the city, Magnus, Merle, and Taako set out for Lake Phol.

They still have twenty-four hours before the full moon, but Merle would like to get at least an idea of what they’re getting into before charging headfirst into danger.

After a little asking around, Magnus was able to find out the cave is underwater, in the center of a lake that spans from one end of the city to the other.

From what Merle could overhear, most people spoke of the lake like it was a center of town, but when they find it, there’s nothing there. No boats, no fishing nets set up, not even an irrigation system. It’s a facet of nature untouched by man. You could almost believe no one had even been here, if not for the severed hand that Merle almost trips over. He makes sure neither Magnus nor Taako is looking before nudging it into the water.

“Are we sure this is the right place?” Merle asks.

“If you know any other weird giant lakes in the area that most people try to avoid, I’d love to hear about them.” Magnus answers.

“Okay, so the cave is underwater, but where’s the entrance?”

“There.” Taako says, pointing.

Right in the center is a single rock poking out from under the water, and emblazoned on its side is the spiral pattern of glittering rubies.

“Man, we are going to have to _angle_ that moonlight.” Magnus says. He turns his attention to the trees overhead. “I _do_ have a proficiency in tree-climbing, so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem…”

The sunlight falls, brushing over the surface of the water one last time before receding over the trees. Merle watches with rapidly decreasing interest as Magnus fusses over the perfect tree to climb. Apparently there’s a lot of nuance to tree-climbing that Merle isn’t privy to. He and Taako pass the time with I-Spy.

As dusk brings in the evening, something in the air shifts, though Merle isn’t completely sure what. “Taako, do you think you can use Detect Magic?”

No answer.

Merle turns. “Taako?”

Taako doesn’t answer, his body moving in slow, languid motions. He walks like his footing is unstable, even on flat, solid ground. Chester is tucked into the crook of Taako’s elbow, the Seer Stone around his neck giving off an unearthly glow.

Merle casts a helpless look in Magnus’s direction, but Magnus is too busy inspecting their surroundings to really notice.

Taako approaches the water’s edge and sticks his foot out, like he’s about to plunge into the water and walk along the lakebed.

Merle scurries into his path, only to see that Taako’s eyes are completely fogged over with a dull, luminescent purple.

Merle grabs his arm, physically hauling him back from the edge. “Taako!”

“Huh?” The purple haze clears, and Taako blinks, as if he isn’t really sure why he’s where he is. His eyes fall on Merle’s concerned face, which only serves to make him look more confused. “…Hi?”

“Are you okay? You were kinda zoned out for a second there.”

“I was?” Taako’s eyes stray back to the lake, and with an overwhelming sense of horror, Merle can see the dim purple glow seep back into his eyes, and the gleam of the Seer Stone is visible through the cracks in his fingers. “I…”

“Taako! Taako, hey, look at me, bud.” He practically has to pull Taako by his hands to get him to stop staring at the lake, but once again, the effects are immediate.

Taako blinks.

“Maybe we should sit down.” Merle suggests, and Taako nods in belated agreement.

They sit, content to watch Magnus scout out the perfect tree to climb, when Merle feels a tug on his hand. Without looking, he laces his fingers through Taako’s. He can feel the poor kid’s embarrassment from here. He doesn’t want to make it any worse.

“Okay, this place is starting to give me the creeps.” Magnus says. “We should get out of here.”

“About time.” Merle mutters. Magnus has already disappeared in the direction of town, so this place really must’ve freaked him out.

“Merle?” Taako stumbles over his name, just a little bit.

Merle pauses and turns. Taako is still seated on the ground, his back deliberately turned from the lake. “What’s up, bud?”

“Chester doesn’t like the necklace anymore.” Taako says offhandedly. The tips of his ears go red, and he can’t look Merle in the eye as he unloops the ribbon from Chester’s neck and holds it out to Merle. “He wants you to have it.”

Merle pretends to not notice the significance of this action, the deliberate way Taako is handing over his leverage. That he’s allowing himself to be both vulnerable and cared for, all without the courage to say, “that scared me.”

Merle thanks them both in turn. “Why, thank you, Taako. Thank you, Chester.”

All the way back to the inn, he can’t tell if this is progress or a disaster in the making.

~

Merle keeps a close eye on Taako for the next day.

He’s quiet around bedtime, meticulously arranging everything how he needs it. Howard on the bedside table, his head on Magnus’s chest, Chester squished between the two of them, Merle on his other side. He burrows under the blankets until only the top of his head is poking out. They still keep the lights on, just in case. Besides, Merle’s gotten used to sleeping like this now.

He sleeps late. They all do, but Taako especially. For someone who jumps at the smallest sound, who has trouble sleeping through the night, he sleeps like the dead.

Even Magnus leaving the bed, which is usually guaranteed to wake Taako up, doesn’t so much as make him stir. Taako simply rolls over, curling into Merle’s warmth instead.

Merle takes the time to carefully stroke the flyaway hairs from Taako’s eyes. He supposes it won’t do any harm to let the little guy sleep for a little longer.

Taako finally wakes deep into the afternoon, wherein he immediately burrows into Merle’s arms for a snuggle.

Merle adores Taako like this, all sleepy and sweet and cuddly.

Magnus dives onto the bed, the force of which made both of them bounce into the air. “Morning, you two!” he crows, giving Merle a shit-eating grin to end all shit-eating grins.

“Maggie!” Taako attaches himself to Magnus’s side, and Magnus pulls him in for a bear hug.

With a roll of his eyes, Merle lets him have this one. He’ll plan a retaliation after they destroy that blasted cup.

They break for lunch in the tavern, where they pore over a small hand-drawn map of the cave system (stolen from Farsworn) and unlimited steak fries (stolen from the table beside them). They work on a formation first, deciding that Taako and Merle should either lead or bring up the rear because of their night vision.

Magnus takes a swig of his ale, his face immediately falling into a grimace. “Oh, God, this tastes like mucus.”

“Great. I’m just gonna err on the side of caution, then.” Merle pushes his ale away. He notices Taako watching him, but decides not to comment on it.

“Anyway, so I think it would be best if we gave ourselves a portable, hands-free torch. Like, if we cast Levitate and Illuminate on a rock or something and just tug it behind us with a rope.”

Taako shakes his head. Apparently it wasn’t worth the struggle today, because he has a carton of chocolate milk. “Too many spell slots.”

“I’ll handle those.” Merle offers. “Save your slots for combat.”

“Great! Then we can use standard formation, me in front, Taako in the middle, and Merle in the back. That way if any threats come up, you two can use ranged attacks and I can hold them back.”

“How many Skeleton Gregs are you expecting to run into in there?” Merle asks.

“Well, of course we’re going to encounter some minions.” Magnus reclines, almost tipping his chair, which he tries to cover up by putting his elbows on the table. “You don’t just rush into a cave and fight the final boss first.”

“Because why make things easy?” Taako grumbles.

“Aw come on!” Magnus nudges Taako. It looks like he’s trying to tap his arm, but he misses and hits Taako’s chest instead. “Where’s your go-getter attitude?”

“Hiding with my big kid headspace.”

“Well that’s…” Magnus trails off, blinking heavily. He peers at Taako like he’s not sure who he’s looking at. “That’s no fun.”

“Maggie…?” Taako tentatively touches Magnus’s hand, but Magnus barely registers him doing so.

“Yeah? What’s…up?” Magnus lurches, and Taako instinctively moves to try and catch him. Fortunately for both of them, Magnus manages to catch himself, but it’s clear he might not be able to for much longer. His eyes are heavily lidded, his pupils huge and unfocused.

“You okay?”

“Yeah…” Magnus’s head lolls to one side. “God, this shit hits _hard_.” He’s quiet for a long moment. “Oh, shit, don’t repeat that, Taako.” Another pause. “Don’t repeat that either.”

“Do you think he’s been drugged?” Merle asks.

“Either that or he just got cursed too.” Taako says. He grabs Magnus by the bicep and tries to haul him to his feet. “He needs to lie down.”

“Dear Pan, please let that not be the case.” One baby is more than enough, thank you very much. He doesn’t even want to imagine Magnus—sweet, albeit hyperactive Magnus—with a younger headspace. “My old heart couldn’t handle the two of you together.”

Despite his obvious worry, Taako giggles. He’s finally got Magnus standing, so he wraps Magnus’s arm around his shoulders and guides him along. Thankfully, people part for weird, scruffy-looking adventurers, so there’s no worry of Magnus tripping.

“C’mon, Maggie, big steps,” he coaxes. Magnus lumbers behind him, more stumbling up the stairs than walking up them. “That’s good! Just a little more.”

Merle grins, remembering Magnus saying the same thing to Taako not two days ago.

They make it to their room with some effort, and in the home stretch, Magnus lets go of Taako’s shoulder and stumbles over to the bed.

“Thanks, guys.” Magnus murmurs. It’s the last coherent thing he says before sleep drags him under, and he begins snoring loudly. Taako slips Chester into Magnus’s arms while Merle tucks him in.

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t wake up seeing monsters.” Merle says. While he was kidding at first, the possibility of such a thing is becoming more and more real. What else would take him out that quickly, and how could it have gotten into his system without him knowing?

“He should be okay.” Taako says.

“Let’s hope. And with any luck, he might be awake before nightfall.” Merle likes the idea of going without their warrior even less than going without their wizard, but Magnus hasn’t given them much of a choice. Maybe if they just keep moving and using their ranged attacks, they might succeed. At the very least, they’d be able to flee easier. But he hopes, he so desperately hopes, it won’t have to come to that.

Taako stands over him, the brim of his hat casting a shadow over Merle’s face.

“Need something, kiddo?” He glances up to see the tip of Taako’s umbrella move directly in front of his face.

“Bedtime.” Taako murmurs. He doesn’t look angry, but his face is set, determined, and while his voice is soft, it’s laced with power. A sleep spell, Merle distantly realizes. “Bedtime,” he says again.

It’s the last thing Merle hears before passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about to go DOWN


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone I told that the next chapter was going to be the climax, I'm sorry I lied. The chapter was getting way too long and I had to split it. Please forgive me!

Taako didn’t leave immediately. He didn’t let himself.

Instead he put Merle to bed, making sure that both he and Magnus were comfortable while they slept. Both the sleeping potion and the sleep spell should last about twelve hours, so with any luck, he’ll be back here with a broken goblet before they even stir.

Waiting for nightfall is the hardest. Here he sits, completely aware of the ticking clock and knowing there’s nothing he can do but wait. He spends two hours cuddled between Magnus and Merle, another packing every health potion he can scavenge. He takes Merle’s axe for good measure. His melee skills are abysmal, but it’s a small, one-handed weapon, and it’s better than nothing.

When he finds he can’t take looking at them anymore, he heads out for the lake and waits there.

In the day, it’s hard to see anything particularly out of the ordinary. Even the spiral pattern of pebble-sized rubies are hard to see. They don’t even reflect the sunlight.

But as dusk falls, the area transforms. The dull lake water shines in the fading light, as if seeing it off with flair, and the wind seems to sing through the trees. The glistening of the flowers only gets brighter once night fully falls.

With a growing knot in his stomach, Taako gets to his feet and produces the Seer Stone—the real one—from inside his shirt. He had to give Farsworn credit, it was clever of him to have a fake on his person. It took some minor begging on Taako’s part to get Farsworn to show him, but once he did, it was as easy as distracting him with the game on TV and plucking the Stone from his slackened grip.

Still, the fake is impeccably made. Even Taako wasn’t able to tell which was which until he did an Arcana Check. From there, all he had to do was throw up a little smoke and mirrors.

Illusion magic isn’t his strong suit, so making his eyes glow and the fake Stone gleam had taken a lot of practice. He didn’t feel great about it, but it helped drop Merle’s guard, at least a little. If he hadn’t been playing the sweet, cuddly baby, if he hadn’t conjured up a reason for him to put his trust in Merle by giving him the Seer Stone, it might not have worked so perfectly.

“Okay, step one.” Taako says to himself. “Climb the tree.”

He has no athletic ability to speak of, but he’d been watching Magnus closely. The trick is finding a solid enough foothold. Thankfully, he’s tall enough that he can move from one branch to another without too much trouble. He doesn’t want his entire plan falling apart because he can’t do a simple chin-up.

Taako counts the branches as he ascends. Magnus had stopped at about twelve, so that’s where he stops too.

He tests his weight against the sturdy branch, and once he finds it holds, he carefully makes his way to the end of it, holding onto an overhead branch for balance.

He holds the Stone aloft over his head, catching the stray moonbeams and tossing them against the stones. He rotates his wrist, slowly angling it until the light folds nicely over the ruby pattern.

Light explodes from the stones, peeking between the cracks, growing stronger and stronger until the light is searing. Taako is forced to look away as the water drains out of the lake, leaving behind a stone staircase and an entrance about fifty feet below. When Taako wonders why no one ever tried a waterbreathing potion, a giant eel-like monster sputters to life from the lakebed. It cracks open a single yellow eye and, upon seeing its waterless surroundings, burrows deep into the ground and disappears without a trace.

Taako takes his time climbing back down, carefully sliding from one branch to the other until he’s back on solid ground.

For some reason, he checks his surroundings before proceeding. He isn’t sure why, but he has this terrible suspicion that Magnus and Merle are going to come running over at any second, wrap him in giant hugs, and join him on his suicide mission.

Maybe it's because that’s what he wants.

He peers into the brush, listening for sounds of footsteps. They don’t come, confirming that there’s no going back.

He pulls out the map, inspecting it as he trudges down the stone staircase. Mud and gunk bunch up around his feet with every step, which he does his best to ignore. It’s not a very complete map, only showing an approximation of the cave system based on the land above it, but it’s better than nothing.

The cave entrance looms in front of him, a dark mouth ready to swallow him whole. He steels himself by taking a deep breath, chanting under his breath that his night vision will be enough, and heads inside.

It’s impossibly dark in the cave. Even his eyes strain against the lack of light. It’s like the very energy of this place swallows light whole.

Like people are meant to be lost in here forever.

He scoops up a handful of sand and silt, using it to mark the cave wall with an X. If the map is correct, the path on the right should be the correct one. If not, he can double back. It will be fine.

At the end of that tunnel, he comes to another split in the path. Again, he takes the one on the right, marking it with an X. After that, another split in the path. Another right.

None of these are on the map, and as the downward slope of the ground gets more pronounced, and more branching paths lie in front of him, it’s abundantly clear the map isn’t going to do him any good. He wads it in his fist and, conscious of his spell slots, sets the tip alight with a pack of matches he took from Magnus’s pack. The dim light is a minor relief on his eyes, but not by much.

The paths get narrower, more twisting, more damp, and Taako has to tamp down the growing feeling of claustrophobia. He just keeps going, marking each path he chooses with an X, and tries not to let doubt seep into his thoughts.

It’s hard, though. It’s so, so hard. If Magnus and Merle were here, they could’ve split up and covered more ground. Maybe only one of them would’ve found the right way, but what would make that so different from right now?

Magnus doesn’t like the dark that much either, he remembers, but only because he can’t see in it like Merle and Taako can. He and Taako could’ve made each other brave. If he were here, that is.

That niggling voice in the back of his head, the one that keeps telling him to go back and wake up Magnus and Merle, gets louder the more he thinks about the two of them, and he’s at the point where he might just listen. Still, he keeps going. He’s gone this far. He can’t go back now.

He walks for ten minutes, the air growing ever more suffocating, when a sound comes tearing through the caves, rocketing off the stone surfaces with reckless abandon. Footsteps—or something like them. They have a wet effect to them, and they move fast.

Whatever is making those noises, it’s coming right for him.

He barely has time to turn before he sees its shadow, large and hulking, and he has to reign in a scream. It may already know where he is, but he’s not going to help confirm that any further, nor is he going to give it the satisfaction of knowing it’s terrifying. He blows out his light in the hopes of giving himself a few extra seconds.

He fumbles for his umbrella, wielding it with both hands, and casts Ray of Frost, which the rapidly approaching monster dodges with ease.

Taako turns on his heel, ready to run deeper into the caves just to get away, when the thing tackles him, pinning him into the sodden earth.

The figure rears back, weapon raised, and Taako is finally able to get a good look at his attacker.

“Maggie?” He tamps down the overwhelming urge to throw his arms around Magnus’s neck and beg to be taken home.

Magnus blinks hard, no doubt trying to see him in the overwhelming darkness. “Taako? Is that really you, bud?” He grabs Taako by the shoulders and hauls him to his feet. “Don’t try anything.”

Taako is about to ask what that means when he hears Merle huffing and puffing his way in behind them.

“Merle!” Magnus calls. “Get a good look at him. Is this Taako or a mimic?”

Taako tries not to cringe back when Merle peers at him, but the guilt is starting to bubble back to the surface. “That’s him, alright.” Merle confirms.

Only then does Magnus let him go. “Taako Jonathan Taaco, you are in _so_ much trouble.”

“That’s not my middle name,” he says. Then he realizes they shouldn’t even be awake right now. Of course they could’ve followed the exes, but that doesn’t explain how they’re _awake_. “How did you…?”

“You underestimated your dosage.” Magnus says. His eyes are narrowed, and Taako shifts uncomfortably under the disapproval. “Takes a lot more than half a vial of sleeping potion to take me out. Where did you get that anyway? Did you steal it from Farsworn?”

Taako’s cheeks flame, indignance pulsing through him. “I’ll have you know, I asked. _Nicely_.” Taako sniffs. He can feel his resolve crumbling. Why did he ever think he could manage this on his own? He can’t even _drug _someone right!

“Like you _nicely_ spiked my drink? Or _nicely_ used a sleep spell on Merle? Oh, what about when you _nicely_ handed over the stone to get us to trust you so you could _nicely_ stab us both in the back and get yourself _nicely_ situated in a dangerous situation alone?”

Taako bunches up his shoulders, refusing to let his eyes fill with tears at Magnus using a mean voice. If he can’t sneak past them, maybe he can make them so mad they just leave. Clearly Magnus is almost at that point. “I’m big!” Taako protests. He puffs up his chest and matches Magnus’s confrontational stance. “I can do this alone!”

“Sure you are.” Merle says, frustratingly calm. He pushes between them, not even hiding how desperate he is to diffuse this rapidly escalating situation. “But that doesn’t mean you have to.”

“Did you think we were going to come here without you?” Magnus asks, following Merle’s example.

Of course not. He _knows_ they wouldn’t. They’re a team. And that’s the problem. “It’s not about that!”

“Then what is it about?”

“Help us understand, bud.” Merle says. He inches in closer. Why does he have to be so damned _calm_? “This isn’t like you.”

Taako takes another step back. They’re getting too close; the walls are closing in. “Stay back!”

Merle remains infuriatingly calm. “We just want to know why you don’t want us here. Tell us that, and we’ll leave.” Magnus sputters a half-protest, but Merle shushes him.

“Because you both get stupid when I’m in trouble!” Taako answers. He’s yelling now, but since there’s no one else around, he can’t bring himself to calm down. “Magnus almost got killed by a mimic because he thought it was me!”

“But this time I didn’t—”

“Yes, you did! There were three times you let your guard down enough for me to strike back. I could’ve killed you _three times_, Maggie! Did you even know I had this?” In a moment of frantic desperation, he pulls out Merle’s miniature axe and swings it wildly. That’s enough to make them both back up a step.

Taako continues moving back, hoping the distance will keep them from seeing the tremble going up and down his arms. His legs feel leaden, like someone stuffed rocks into his pockets when he wasn’t looking.

The tears build up in his eyes before he can stop them, spilling over his cheeks in big, pathetic globs. “I can’t lose you like that! I can’t know it was because of me!”

The silence that follows is deafening.

Magnus and Merle are looking at him just like he feared they would. With the utmost sympathy and affection for a little boy so desperate to be loved that he’d attempt his most astronomically stupid stunt to date.

“Stop!” He hides his face in his hands, as if that would be enough to make everything go away. Merle’s axe clatters to the ground at his feet. “Stop! This is exactly what I’m talking about!”

“Taako…” Magnus says. He doesn’t say anything else, but the pained sympathy in his face is more than enough.

Through his fingers, Taako can see his umbrella at his feet. Desperately, he swipes it off the ground and raises it threateningly. The air crackles around them. “Go away! Get back! I don’t need you caring about me!” He fires before he can think better of it.

His magic missile flies clear over Merle’s head, colliding into the cave wall behind him. He hadn’t been aiming for Merle, not really. He doesn’t want to hurt them.

“I’m going by myself, and if you guys follow me, I’ll…I’ll…fight you!”

All Magnus would have to do is charge him again, and he’ll have already lost. He knows that, and Magnus knows that too.

Magnus glares. “We both know you won’t.” And with that, he strides forward, pushing Taako’s umbrella out of his face like it’s not a dangerous, powerful weapon.

Taako lets out a pitiful yelp as Magnus grabs him by the arms. He cowers to the best of his ability, but the most he can do is turn his head away and look pathetic.

But before he can cry or scream or beg Magnus not to hurt him, Magnus pulls him in close, holding Taako tight against his chest. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Tears are spilling down his face before he can realize. He manages a couple choked sobs before the dam breaks entirely, and he’s sobbing openly into Magnus’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you.” Magnus whispers. He cups the back of Taako’s head, an action so tender and soothing that Taako can only cry harder.

He feels a familiar weight press into his hip, and he knows Merle has joined in on the hugfest.

“The curse is changing.” Taako whimpers. “I used to be scared just for me, now I’m scared for you instead.” He’s still seeing things skewed, and people are still monsters, but now that he’s proven to himself that they aren’t always a threat, the curse has found new ways to rattle him.

This gives Magnus pause. “What do you mean?”

His lower lip quivers, sending a fresh wave of tears streaking down his face. Magnus’s shoulder is already thoroughly soaked, and he’s only making it worse. He can barely say it out loud, even to himself. “I hear you calling for help if I’m not paying attention. It started yesterday. At the lake. I wasn’t faking being scared.” The words tumble out before he can stop them. Had Merle cast Zone of Truth while he wasn’t looking? “I can’t take it anymore. And I know I’m gonna do something silly.”

Magnus pulls back to properly shoot him a look. It’s odd, knowing Magnus is mad at him. His expression is equal parts stern and kind. “You mean like drugging us and running off into a dangerous cave alone?”

Heat creeps back into Taako’s face. He sniffles and averts his eyes. “Maybe.”

“Sounds like you need to stop trying to save us all the time.” Merle says. “We’re the grown-ups. Let us handle all that.”

Taako glares down at him. “I will when you stop being stupid all the time.”

“So never.” Magnus answers.

Merle laughs. “Hey, speak for yourself!”

Taako laughs so hard he starts sobbing again. He fists one hand in Magnus’s tunic, and the other in Merle’s. He wants to go home; he wants to turn around and say “fuck the curse” and go back to the inn for a nap.

Having Magnus and Merle show up was probably the worst thing that could happen for his headspace. Knowing that they’d come, even when he put obstacles in their way, simply because he needed them, was so unbelievably comforting.

And now that they were here, there’s no way he can face this on his own, even if he wanted to—and he definitely doesn’t want to. His resolve has shattered, leaving him emotionally vulnerable and very, very little.

He feels Magnus’s hand on his cheek, kindly thumbing away the leftover tears. “We gotcha, Taako. Always.”

Suddenly his body is too warm, too overwhelmed. He pushes at both of them. 

“Okay, I would like some space now, please.” Both boys immediately let go, and Taako takes his freedom of movement to scrub at his eyes. He’s sure he looks like a wreck now, but he does feel a little better.

“Good, because whatever you have in your pocket was poking into my eye.” Merle jokes.

“Huh?” Taako wasn’t carrying anything in his pockets. Everything he brought was in his bag. Dread settling onto him, he reaches into his pocket and, to his shock and horror, pulls out a familiar object.

The cursed goblet.

“_There you are_,” a raspy voice croons. It’s everywhere, seeming to fill every square inch of space. It’s part in his head, part everywhere else.

Just like his hallucinations.

“Drop it!” Merle cries, but Taako can’t even feel his fingers, let alone move them. The cup’s magic is coursing through his body with paralyzing force.

The goblet goes shimmery around the edges, and soon Taako’s arm up to the elbow is doing the same. In that split second, everything clicks horribly into place.

The goblet never disappeared. Since the second he took that first drink, it’s been tied to him, waiting for him to come back here. The reason this place is designed like a labyrinth is because it _is one_. Only the person with the goblet would be able to make it out alive.

The thing about teleportation magic is that it sucks, especially when you’re working with a small item and a big distance. Anything bound to an item is bound to make you nauseous for days, and Taako feels that awful wave of queasiness roll over him. Wherever he’s going, it’s bound to be awful.

“Oh no you don’t!” Magnus cups his hand over the top of the goblet, shoving it down low enough so Merle can grab the handle. “You’re not going anywhere without us.” He offers Taako a sweet smile, one that almost makes him think they’ll be okay.

The ground falls out below them, and everything goes black.


	11. Chapter 11

Taako, Merle, and Magnus land in a painful heap, the goblet still stuck between them.

Taako is immediately overwhelmed with the urge to gag. The air here is so much staler, reeking of mold and fungi that hasn’t so much as glimpsed the sun in years.

“Where are we?” Magnus asks.

“Probably nowhere good.” Merle answers.

Taako stares down at the goblet, grasping it with both hands. The feeling of magic fades, and Taako is finally able to slacken his grip on it. He still keeps a hold of it, for fear of what might happen if he lets go, and surveys their new surroundings.

The area is completely empty, almost a perfect circle with no entrances or exits to speak of. The only other thing in the room is a long-rotted skeleton, propped up against a cave wall. Taako almost doesn’t even see it, but when he does, another spike of magic shoots up his arm, and he cries out.

The cup bucks against his hold, nearly pulling his arm out of his socket, and he’s forced to release it.

It zips through the air, landing firmly in the outstretched hand of a skeleton. Its bones are old and weathered, like it’s been left rotting here for the past five hundred years, but it moves with ease. In its right hand, it carries a rusted sword.

The skeleton rises, its head jerking in Taako’s direction. Its jaw goes slack, and its eye sockets come to life with a familiar purple glow.

“_I knew ssssomeone would return my goblet to me sssssomeday._” The voice is deep, and powerful enough the fill the room without trying.

Taako bites on the inside of his cheek as hard as he can. This is no illusion. It’s real, and that’s the truly terrifying part. But still, he’s not going to let himself give into his fear. It’s just a skeleton. A cheap parlor trick cast by a wizard too cowardly to face death.

The skeleton tilts his head, his eyes glimmering with malice. “_Would you like to ssssee a magic trick, little boy?_”

Purple smoke spills over the lip of the goblet, pooling at the skeleton’s feet. But instead of spreading out and filling the room, it billows around the skeleton, becoming thicker and darker until the smoke is nearly opaque.

It takes shape, first molding into a pair of trunk-like legs, then a torso the size of a boulder. Hulking shoulders. Massive arms. And finally, a head, with two bright beady yellow eyes staring down at him.

This body molds around the skeleton, creating a large cavity in the center of the beast’s chest. And there the skeleton sits, goblet in one hand, sword in the other.

Tremors run their courses through Taako’s body. Is it really that big or does it have control over Taako’s perception of things? He supposes it doesn’t matter. Either way, it’s huge.

Something grabs his hand. Taako jerks violently, only to find it’s Merle.

“It’s okay, kiddo,” he says, mustering a smile when he’d clearly rather be screaming. “There’s no need to cry.”

Taako touches his free hand to his face, belatedly realizing that he is, indeed, crying. “I’m…” he trails off. What is he? He thinks he intended to say “I’m okay,” but that’s hardly true now, is it?

“I’ll keep you safe.” Merle promises. He casts Shield of Faith and steps in front of him, close enough for them to both comfortably fit under the shield with him still standing protectively in front of Taako.

“Okay, new plan! Get the goblet, kick its ass!” Magnus wields his axe. “Stay here, Taako. I’ll take care of this Nightmare Before Christmas knockoff before you can blink!”

Magnus charges, but immediately gets batted back, flying through the air like he weighs nothing. He hits the ground roughly, but it barely takes him a moment before he’s up and running again.

Something in the air shifts, and it makes Taako nauseous. He doesn’t even have to look to know how the skeleton is going to pilot that monstrosity, almost like both are an extension of his own magic.

When the beast rears back again, Taako knows the kidgloves are off.

“No. Stop!” Taako is rooted in place, only able to watch as Magnus is beaten back again. He goes flying over their heads, colliding against the opposite cave wall with a sickening crack.

Taako tries to still the quivering of his hands. There has to be some way to turn this to his advantage, some spell he can use, but nothing comes to mind. He can’t even feel his own magic. Even something as simple as magic missile feels out of his abilities.

He tries the easiest spells he can think of. Magic missile. Magic hand. Something, _anything_. Nothing works.

His magic is still in the air, somewhere. It’s not the same as being in an anti-magic barrier. It’s like the magic is being siphoned out of him.

The skeleton turns his gaze on Taako, now that Magnus is out of the way. His steps are large, but they make no sound. It’s the kind of step that feels like it should rattle the earth, but it never does.

“Stay back!” Merle commands. He flips through his spellbook, throwing out every protective spell he can name, but the monster continues on undeterred.

“_What a preciousss little sssscaredy cat_,” the skeleton hisses. His voice bounces off the walls of the cave, reflecting it with such a fierceness that Taako could never hope to block the voice out.

Before he can back away, a large, clawed hand grips his middle. Its touch is feather light against him and crushing all at once. He can’t breathe.

“_I think I’d like to keep you. Your fear is deliciousssss_.”

“You won’t touch him!” Magnus booms. He moves as fast as his feet will carry him. There’s a slight stumble to his run, and Taako knows his leg is probably badly injured. He swings down his ax, cleanly severing the monster’s arm. It dissolves into smoke before the cut is complete.

He doesn’t even notice it start to reform behind him, and before Taako can cry out, it’s formed a barb, going right into Magnus’s back and out his chest.

Magnus lurches forward. There’s blood blooming at his chest, staining the fabric a brilliant red.

Everything goes cold.

“Magnus!” Merle’s attention wavers, only for a second, but its enough for the skeleton to swing his long, monstrous arms and bat Merle against a cave wall. He goes limp on impact.

The room goes impossibly cold. Taako takes short, stuttering breaths, trembling from head to toe.

There’s nothing to separate them now.

The skeleton leans forward, pressing the icy tip of his sword to Taako’s chest. He smells like cheap wine and turpentine.

The skeleton’s extra limbs extend, scooping up Magnus and Merle’s unmoving bodies. His grip is threateningly tight, telling Taako all he needs to do is crack his knuckles and his friends are as good as dead.

“_Jusssst you and me now, little elf._”

“Please.” Taako begs. He doesn’t know what he’s asking or even _who_ he’s asking. His eyes move from the skeleton to his monster form to Magnus to Merle. His breath hitches on a sob.

“_Put down your weaponssss._”

Taako’s hands go to his umbrella, ready to listen, happy to give in, but he catches himself halfway through. Giving up his umbrella will only make him weaker, and it’s not like the skeleton is going to go any easier on him if he agrees.

He levels his umbrella at the skeleton’s face, baring his teeth. “_Make me_.”

The skeleton chuckles, a low breathy rasp that curls around the back of Taako’s neck. “_Gladly_.”

He strikes Taako with the flat of his blade, sending Taako sprawling. A trickle of heat runs down his arm, and he knows he’s bleeding.

“_I know what you fear mosssst_,” the skeleton laughs. The smoke monster around him reforms, morphing into a towering beast with three heads and twelve eyes between them. Its necks stretch impossibly high, further dwarfing Taako. “_I know what it takes to push you._”

The smoke monster’s clawed fingers curled tighter around Magnus, giving him a threatening squeeze.

Taako almost drops his weapon right there. He scrambles to his feet, reaching out for Magnus. “No!”

“_Or what?_” The skeleton hisses a laugh. “_What will you do, little elf?_” The monster tightens its grip around Merle next, and the dwarf is barely visible in its giant clawed hand. “_Drop your weaponssss._”

Taako staggers backward, only for the skeleton to match every step. There’s no running, no space for him to breathe.

“_I ussssed to be a fine healer when I wassss alive_,” the skeleton continues. Reverie glimmers in those purple eyes, like he’s lapping up every ounce of Taako’s fear. “_It would be no difficult feat to keep you alive. Perhapssss I could run you through with this sssssword, jusssst to make ssssure you never run away._” He reaches out again, tapping the point of his blade against Taako’s chest. “_The amount of magic you have isss impeccable. I do believe you’re my ticket out of here._”

Taako fumbles, tripping over his own feet, so he has no choice but to crawl backwards. Once again, the skeleton matches every step, almost like it’s a game to him. Taako’s back thumps against a solid cave wall, confirming that he is indeed cornered.

“_Hold sssstill now, little elf._” The skeleton’s sword gently prods against his chest, as if feeling out the perfect place to impale him.

Against all reason, Taako looks helplessly up at his unconscious friends, as if it’s going to be any second now that Magnus pops up, ready for round two. He did it last time Taako wanted him. Why can’t he do the same now? But Magnus isn’t moving. In fact, he barely looks like he’s breathing. Magnus and Merle can’t save him now, just like he can’t save them.

The only thing he can do is save himself.

Taako swivels his head, forcing his eyes to stay on the skeleton man. He doesn’t care that tears are streaming down his cheeks, or that his hands are shaking, or even that his lower lip is quivering like it only does when he’s on the verge of an all-out breakdown. He’s mad—no, _furious_—and that’s eclipsing every other feeling in his body.

“I _said_…” Taako says. He tightens his grip on his umbrella, and the world seems to vibrate with magic. It’s connected to him on strings, and all he has to do is find them—and pull as hard as he can. “_NO!_”

The power explodes out of him at once. It has no direction, no focal point, so the most it creates is a powerful shockwave. The monster staggers back, and the skeleton looks about as perplexed as a skeleton can look, but other than that, it does nothing.

Taako scowls. This stupid skeleton man and his dumb fear powers. He’s taken away everything that has ever made Taako happy—his friends, regressing, his _love of drinking_?

The magic surges in him again, swift and powerful. He lifts his umbrella, holding it less like a security blanket and more like a weapon.

“_WINGARDIUM LEVI-EAT A DICK!_”

He casts magic missile with a fierce crack, and he has to jump back to keep his balance. It hits the beast squarely in the chest, blasting apart the skeleton. Roughly two hundred bones scatter across the room, thumping against the walls, disappearing into the darkness. Taako would like to see him try put himself together after that.

Taako keeps his umbrella aimed at the smoke monster, which remains corporeal even without the skeleton acting as a battery. He glares down the length of the umbrella, face burning as he screams, “_ABRACA-LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!”_

The force of his magic pushes the beast back, giving him the needed space before the full breadth of his magic finally sinks in.

The monster realizes a second too late. Taako’s magic cracks through its chest, fragmented like sunlight on a forest floor, and then consumes it, until all that’s left is a tiny billow of purple smoke.

Magnus and Merle drop to the ground like sacks of potatoes. They don’t even move. Taako tries not to think of that. The smoke ghosts over them, trailing up past their shoulders and disappearing into the suffocating air.

Taako spins on his heel, checking the bones scattered around them. He makes no effort to be gentle, grinding his heels on the femurs in his way until he comes across it.

The skull sits motionless on the ground, its eye sockets still faintly glimmering with magic.

“_Very impressssive, little elf_,” the skull hisses.

“Oh shut up.” Taako snaps. He nudges the skull with his toe, rolling it back so he can look it in the eye without crouching. See how this bastard likes being surrounded by things perpetually too big. “What are you, a snake? Your gimmicks suck.”

“_Mossst people hold a great fear for ssssnakes_,” the skull replies, defensiveness creeping into its guttural voice.

“Oh, you’re going for a _scary_ thing.” Taako rolls his eyes. “Might I offer a suggestion, then?”

“_Ssssure?_”

“Next time, try sounding like Taako.”

“_Exsscusse me?_”

“Oh.” Taako straightens up, resting his umbrella on his shoulder. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

Clearing his throat, he bellows, “_HOCUS POCUS FUCK OFF ALREADY!_” He raises his umbrella and drives the tip down onto the top of the skull with all the strength he can muster. That, combined with the last of his magic reserves, leaves behind nothing more than a pile of ash at his feet.

Dying wisps of purple smoke climb from the ash, but they barely pass Taako’s head before dissolving completely.

Only the goblet remains, to which Taako promptly opens his umbrella and lets the Umbra Staff absorb its power whole.

The world tilts, and Taako stumbles.

He’s unconscious before he even hits the ground.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for anyone I scared with that last chapter. Magnus is okay, I promise! Here's some fluff to make up for it! Thanks for sticking with this story until the end! You guys are rock stars!

The curse is gone.

Taako knows that the second he wakes up big. 

“Merle, cast a healing spell! He’s not moving!”

“He doesn’t look injured.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I think I know what an open wound looks like, Magnus. Thank you.”

“He could have broken bones! Or his bleeding could be internal!”

Taako groans. He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and takes a long breath. He could use a drink. Or a nap. Or maybe just an extended period of time where he doesn’t need to move.

Every part of him aches. And it doesn’t help that Magnus isn’t using his inside voice.

Wait.

_Magnus_.

His eyes fly open. Magnus is kneeling to his left, a hand on his chest, and the sight of him upright and alive and well is almost enough to make Taako burst into tears. But not right now. Not when he’s big.

“I’m fine, you idiots.” He detaches the concerned hands on his chest and shoulders and gives Magnus a sharp look. His chest is still stained a brilliant red. That much had been real, unfortunately. He forces himself to keep cool. “You’re still bleeding, punkin.”

“I’m fine.” Magnus reassures him. He looks gigantic looming over Taako, but the longer Taako looks at him, the less imposing he looks. Sure, he’s built like an oak shitthouse, but he’s back to being the same height as Taako instead of twice his height.

“No, you’re not.” Merle argues. He’s sitting on Taako’s other side, and Taako’s never been more relieved to see how short he is. “Just let me cast a healing spell already!”

“What if Taako needs it?”

“I’m fine. I’m also not a baby.” Taako turns his head to Merle. “Heal him before he passes out.”

“Oh, shit, we’re talking to Big Boy Taako?” Magnus asks. He doesn’t protest as Merle heals his wounds. The bloodstains still look particularly nasty, even in the dark, but at least he isn’t bleeding anymore.

“Somewhat.” He stares up at the stalactites overhead, taking in the size and shape of them. No matter how long he looks, they don’t change. They don’t get bigger or further away, and the dark stays perfectly still. He can already feel himself slipping, so he might as well give into it. The last four days have been largely unfun for him. It wouldn’t do any harm to actually relax by regressing, at least for an extra day.

He could be big in the morning.

“That sucked.” Taako says to no one in particular. His back is being to ache from him being sprawled out on the cold ground, but he can’t bring himself to sit up. Every part of him is so tired, and not just from the fight.

“Tell me about it.” Merle agrees. “I’m bruised in places I didn’t know could bruise.”

“I’ve never been regressed four days straight before.” Taako muses.

“How was it?” Magnus asks.

“It also sucked.” He curls up on his side, tucking his knees up to his chest. “I demand to be carried. I just saved your asses. I’m not doing anything else for at least three business days.” To punctuate his point, he pops his thumb in his mouth.

Merle chuckles. “You heard the man, Magnus.”

“I want cookies for dinner.” Taako adds.

Magnus says “no” at the exact same time Merle answers “hell yeah,” which is sure to kickstart a new round of bickering.

Taako stops that before it can start. “Can someone _please_ call the Bureau? I would like to go home now.”

“Right.” Merle grunts as he gets to his feet. “Let’s get the kiddo to bed. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had more than enough excitement for one night.”

“If literally nothing happens for the next month, it’ll be too much.” Magnus agrees. He stands as well.

“Still need to be carried.” Taako pipes up from the ground.

Magnus shoots Merle an imploring look.

“What are you looking at me for?” Merle demands.

“I have this giant hole in my chest!” Magnus points out. “Come on, man, be cool _for once_. Help me out here.”

“Well, you can bench press trolls and I’m half his height. I’m afraid there isn’t much of a debate here.”

“So I use my proficiency in tracking to get us here, Taako saves all of us, but you can’t contribute one measly thing? I see who the team players are.”

“Oh, so that giant hole in your chest just healed by coincidence?”

“The wound is still fresh, Merle! I don’t want to strain it too much.”

“And whose fault is that? I offered to heal you and you kept saying no!” Merle sighs. Still, and much to Taako’s surprise, Merle slips one hand under the backs of Taako’s knees and the other around his shoulders, lifting him with ease. “Which one of you is the baby again?”

Taako giggles.

~

It takes a while for it to finally sink in that he’s safe.

It stays in the back of his mind as they exit the cave, which Taako ends up needing to blast an exit from before the lake fills up again, but it doesn’t fully hit him until they enter town and he sees people, not monsters.

That’s when it hits him, and when it hits him, so does his exhaustion. So for most of their journey back to the moon base, he sleeps wherever he can manage.

He sleeps in Merle’s arms, on their bed as the others pack their things, then again in Magnus’s arms when Merle finally says he refuses to carry Taako any further, and then some more on their way back to the moon. It’s hard to sleep sitting straight up, even harder when you’re being shot to the moon base at mach speed, but he manages. Having Chester to cuddle with helps.

He wakes up to Magnus unbuckling his seatbelt. “Cookies?” he asks. After all, Merle had said yes.

“Sorry, bud.” Merle says. “The Director needs us to meet with her about our mission.”

“_Nooo_.” Taako whines. He distantly notes that now would be a perfect time for a tantrum, since he hasn’t had the chance to have one for a while. And this is definitely something he needs to get his way for. He wouldn’t even have to fake tears at this point—he’s that tired.

Merle hushes him, placing a chocolate chip cookie in his hands, which he instantly stuffs into his mouth. All other protests die on his tongue.

“There will be more for you next time if you’re good!” Avi adds. He shakes his box of Intergalactic Girl Scout cookies with a wink.

That’s what keeps him placated through the visit with the Director.

Taako sits through the entire debriefing in Merle’s lap, thumb planted firmly between his lips.

The Director barely spares him a glance. She’s far more interested in whatever they’d destroyed.

“A goblet that, when drunk from, casts a powerful illusory curse over the drinker. This goblet was cursed by its previous owner, one Skeleton Gregory, is that correct?” She doesn’t pause to let them answer. “And now the object and the curse have been neutralized.” She runs through her notes one last time, confirming to herself that everything is correct, before fixing her gaze on the three of them. “So you’re sure this wasn’t a Grand Relic?” she asks.

“It couldn’t have been.” Magnus answered. “Taako destroyed it.”

“Right.” She scribbles down an additional note. “Then what, pray tell, was it?”

“Probably some dumbass wizard trying to soul bond to his gaudy kitchenware.” Taako says. He takes his thumb out of his mouth long enough to speak, and that’s it. Bedtime was hours ago, and they’d hadn’t even had time for dinner, but they still had to go through this dumb debriefing before they were free to go. Why couldn’t the Director just admit her lead was a bust and let them leave?

And just like that, any interest the Director had pretended to have dissipated. “Well, then, if that’s that, I implore you all to get some rest.”

“So are we getting paid for this?” Magnus asks.

Her gaze falls on Taako for a split second, and it may just be Taako’s imagination, but it seems like her gaze softens. “I suppose I can offer some minor pay, yes. While it wasn’t a Grand Relic, it was still a dangerous artifact the world is better without.” She claps her hands twice. “Davenport!”

Davenport distributes their pay, a measly one hundred gold pieces for each of them, and sends them on their way.

The Director waits until she thinks no one is looking before slipping a butterscotch candy into Taako’s hand.

“As usual, gentlemen, thank you for your service,” she intones, closing the door behind them.

~

Magnus wakes in the middle of the night.

Now, for someone who normally sleeps like a rock, this is a point of concern. He rolls over toward the opposite bunks, where Merle and Robbie are both sleeping soundly.

That’s good, but he was never particularly worried about them…

He climbs out of his bed and peeks over the top of Taako’s, only to find him curled up on his other side, soundly asleep. Chester peers at him from over Taako’s shoulder.

It must’ve been nothing, he thinks. Just lingering paranoia after last night. His body still thinks they have to wake up in the middle of the night to keep Taako safe. Nothing else.

He collapses back into bed, squirming until he’s comfortable. He’s exhausted, so much so that he could fall back asleep without a second thought. Almost dying takes a lot out of a guy, which he’s learned multiple times over.

Yet something still keeps him up.

He gets the distinct feeling that someone is staring at him and rolls over again.

Taako is bent over the top of his bunk, staring at Magnus with big, owlish eyes. He has a certain alertness in his eyes that indicates he’s been up for a while now, which is concerning. The little guy had been so tired before. What happened?

With a soft smile, Magnus shuffles back and lifts up the covers. “Come on down, then.”

Taako doesn’t need to be told twice. He swings down with a surprising amount of skill for someone with zero athletic abilities and falls into Magnus’s arms.

“Don’t go.” Taako’s fingers curl in his shirt, poised protectively over where his wound used to be.

Magnus doesn’t know what “don’t go” is referring to, but he can only guess the poor little guy hasn’t had great dreams so far.

“Does it hurt still?”

“Not a bit.” Well, maybe a little, but Taako doesn’t need to know that.

“Mm.” Taako snuggles in closer, pressing his ear to the space over Magnus’s heart.

There’s a moment of silence, where the only sound in the room is Merle snoring. After a second, Magnus feels his shirt grow wet with tears.

“Real glad you didn’t die, Maggie.” Taako says in a tiny, shaky voice.

“Me too.”

“Would’ve cried lots.”

Magnus chuckles. “Me too.” He wraps an arm around Taako’s shoulder, pulling him in tight. “Something else bothering you?”

“Mm.” Taako traces patterns on Magnus’s chest, little stars and hearts and meaningless squiggles.

Magnus gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “That’s okay. And it’s okay to be scared still,” he adds pointedly. “I’m just happy you’re back to normal, buddy.”

Taako glances up to his face, holding his gaze for only a second before going back to staring at his own hand. His finger draws to a gradual stop. “Thank you for being nice to me.” The words are quiet and rushed, and Taako goes pink up to his ears after they’re out in the open.

Magnus hates the implications of that. He hates the implications of that statement so, so much. He hopes Taako doesn’t feel his heart speeding up as he asks, “Have there been people who…weren’t nice?”

Taako shrugs, going back to tracing patterns in Magnus’s chest. “Just happy you were, is all.”

“Of course.”

He draws a spiral pattern. “Took good care of me.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“’m not always like that,” he warns, punctuating his statement with a series of exes. “I don’t stay in headspace that long.”

“That’s okay.”

“I like to throw tantrums.”

“That’s okay too.”

“Not usually that little.” He glances warily up at Magnus’s face, waiting to see if that’s the deal breaker.

“And that’s totally fine. You do you and Merle and I will adapt. Okay?” He kisses Taako’s forehead, relieved to hear Taako giggle at the affection.

Magnus didn’t realize how tense Taako was until he melted into Magnus’s chest. “Okay.”

“Alright. You’ve been talking long enough that I’m awake.” Merle mutters. Magnus hadn’t even realized he’d stopped snoring.

Before he can protest, Merle is in his bed on Taako’s other side. As usual, Merle takes Taako’s free hand. “I gotcha, bud. No one’s getting stabbed on my watch.” He yawns widely. “Goodnight, you two.” And then he’s out. Just like that.

Taako cracks a smile, as if he’s sharing a little joke with Magnus. “It’s bedtime,” he says.

Magnus nods in agreement. “Bedtime.”

**Author's Note:**

> mcschnuggles.tumblr.com


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